LEONARD NIMOY SIGNED FOR NEXT STAR TREK MOVIE

Looks like we retired the Trek-O-Meter too soon.

LINSDAY LOHAN VIOLATES PAROLE, ARRESTED; BRITNEY SPEARS MELTDOWN AT PHOTO SHOOT

Honestly girls, there really IS such a thing as bad publicity.

DISNEY BANS SMOKING IN MOVIES

No, not in movie theatres, that’s your job. Disney characters are no longer allowed to smoke. Even villains. I guess for the remake of PINOCCHIO they’ll peer-pressure him into takin’ ecstasy or something. Cruella Deville, instead of a cigarette holder, can always have a chocolate bar in her hand. Or a Coke! Yeah! We’ll make millions from product placements! Robert Eiger is an evil genius.

TV GOES ALL-DIGITAL BY FEB 2009

We must act now to delay this change for another five years!

PRODUCERS OF “CAVEMEN” INSIST IT ISN’T A RACIAL METAPHOR

They say instead it is a wry comment on the lack of ideas among network TV programmers.

NAOMI WATTS HAS BABY BOY

DNA testing suggested that child was part giant ape; but it turns out that father is Liev Schreiber. Schrieber, celebrating high atop the Empire State building, could not be reached for comment.

-daniel k.

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