Upfronts: This Ain’t No Party
I missed you guys! How’s it going? Been busy this last few weeks? Me too.
The podcast network has emerged from the rubble of a particularly nasty server crisis, covered with sexy scars and stronger than ever. It’s not just this show, it’s all of them. We are only now approaching normalcy. Thanks for your patience. I hope you haven’t turned to REAL entertainment news in the interim.
Of course, out little troubles here are nothing compared to those of the four major TV networks. Remember them? You used to watch shows on them before you got cable and streaming internet video. Anyway, there is this crazy tradition called the upfronts that happens every year around this time, in which the network present the fall season of shows to the advertisers and try to cajole them into committing money to commercials for the whole season. In the past the even was a huge party in New York, a kind of Vegas-style bacchanalia with networks renting Radio City Music Hall for massive parties. TV stars would hobnob with ad execs. And the booze! Oh, the booze. It was an assault on the senses, designed to wear the advertising people down enough that they would say, “Oh OK. I’ll take 3 minutes a week on VIVA LAUGHLIN.”
Come to think of it, that deal wouldn’t have been too pricey because it only lasted two shows.
Anyway, this year it’s going to be different for a variety of reasons. Chief among them, this l’il writer’s strike thingy. There are roughly half as many shows as normal in the pipeline, thus half as many to sell. Additionally, during the long months without development the network heads all came to a conclusion – pilots cost money. So they decided, after all these years and gazillions of dollars, to avoid making them whenever possible.
Yep, they’re gonna read the script, and decide whether there is a show there based on that. Bad news for actors but good news for writers, I guess.
Of course, the other dominant theme at the upfronts is reality shows. They’re inexpensive and easy to whip up on short notice. All you need is a couple of handycams, a handful of non-union actors, an idea based on another reality show, and many, many editors. You don’t need a script, and you certainly don’t need reality.
Good for news for actors, bad news for writers, I guess.
This attitude toward cheap programming has been extended to the upfronts themselves. Instead of a roman orgy, this years upfronts are more like a last-minute coed party put together while the parents are out of town. Instead of pink champagne on ice, it’s beer in red plastic cups. Instead of Bread and Circuses, it’s biscuits and gravy.
This has the potential to backfire big time. It’s a very delicate dance the upfronts have to do: can you imagine having to sell crap to people who make a living selling crap? In a lot of ways, the Upfronts has been a yearly bribe that the networks can no longer afford. All it’s gonna take is a really nice party thrown by Google and bang! No more NBC.
So nobody is expecting records to be broken this year. What everyone is really watching the upfronts for is: should we bother with more upfronts?
daniel k