Finally, finally finally got out and caught a movie, at the spiffy new Century 20 in Tanforan Mall. It’s a nice new theatre with excellent presentation, but it isn’t without some problems. For one thing, it’s understaffed: On the way to our auditorium I came across a pair of propped-open exit doors, which is an excellent indication nobody walks the corridors. I closed them myself– and was immediately rewarded with the sound of kids pounding on the door, wanting to be let in for free.

We went to see Iron Man, but we changed our mind at the box office and decided to catch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull because it started a half-hour earlier.

We shoulda waited.

It’s not that Crystal Skull is a bad film: It’s quite well-made, with engaging performances by all the principals, a fast-paced story, and impressive sets and special effects. But ultimately there is something deadening about the whole affair, a sort of weariness with it’s safe, familiar sort of action movie conventions.

In fact, the best part is the beginning, which opens in the desert Southwest in 1957. It’s fun to see how a 1930s character like Indiana Jones is fitted into the Cold War era, and there’s plenty of nifty 50s stuff there too, like A-bombs and saucer men from Mars (and, because this is a George Lucas movie, a deuce coupe: A 1932 Ford hot rod). Actually, only when Shia LaBeouf shows up doing his shaky Brando bit twenty-odd minutes in does it start to falter. And by the time the main plot kicks in, it all starts to look so lazy– The bad guys wear red stars instead of swastikas, but aside from that it’s all been done before, thrice.

What didn’t help the mild sense of ennui I experienced was the attached trailer– the preview that came with the print, which shows last. It was for Star Wars: The Clone Wars. This film, which opens in August, is a CG animated movie that will kick off the upcoming “Clone Wars” TV series.

Apparently, it takes place at some time between Episodes II and III, in the thick of the actual Clone War. Here’s the synopsis, courtesy of the IMDb:

The Clone Wars are raging between the Separatists and the Galactic Republic. When Jabba the Hutt’s son is taken by a group of renegades, two Jedi are summoned to investigate. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi depart in search of answers: where is the Hutt’s son, and who is controlling this mysterious renegade group? Yoda sends Ahsoka Tano along as Anakin’s apprentice, Obi-Wan duels Asajj Ventress, and Anakin finds himself dueling Count Dooku once more. Meanwhile, the Sith plan to instigate a three-way war, including the Hutts.

Alright, since the end of this particular story was told in Episode III, what on earth is the point of all this? Because we know who must survive, every major character is shielded from harm. So we’re expected to watch them duel with lightsabers, knowing exactly who is going to win every time. And No doubt the new characters with the funny consonant-heavy names are gonna be so much Bantha fodder or, to use a term from another franchise, red shirts.

I have already complained that George Lucas needs crank up some new franchises. Crystal Skull and Clone Wars are two more strong arguments for quitting. They are leaden with ennui. Canon continuity means the good guys can’t die, and in the case of Star Wars neither can the bad guys. Truly new ideas cannot take root: they are incompatible with the crushing force of precedence. Therefore, trying to raise a sense of jeopardy and suspense is impossible. The tiredness of these franchises make for diminishing returns: no matter how much effort they put into these new offerings, they offer fewer surprises and less compelling reasons for audiences to engage them at all.

When Crystal Skull ends, the filmmakers convey in a subtle manner a feeling the series will not continue. I don’t want to bet against Mr. LaBeouf taking up the brown fedora at some future date, though. Oh boy.

–Skot C.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 at 6:38 pm and is filed under Ancilliaries, General, Long Tail, Motion Pictures, Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.