I think I’ve mentioned once or twice on the show that I’m taking a voice acting class. This weekend marked the end of the beginner course, and I’m confident that I’ll be invited back to the intermediate course in November. For one thing I’m pretty good; for another it means $550 into the pocket of my voice teacher.

And he’s worth it too. I’m studying under the tutelage of Marc Cashman, a guy who’s been cranking out mighty good radio commercials for at least twenty years. I first heard of him when he did a guest segment on the internet radio show of my good friend Priscilla Leona, which I happen to have done a couple of spots for. She asked his opinion of them and he said some kind things, so with that ego boost pushing me I gave him a call and enrolled in the course. Cashman give very good guidance. He’s pithy, accurate and lets you down gently when you do something stupid. I don’t think there is anyone in the class who isn’t better than they were six weeks ago.

Still, there’s an endgame to this stuff. As much fun as it is to stand in a booth and chew up a page of copy, ultimately the goal is to quit your straight job and get Don LaFontaine’s old job. LaFontaine, you’ll recall, was the dean of movie trailers, the guy who originated the phrase “In a world where…” and famous for never having to leave his home studio unless he felt like getting out. He passed away around week two of class and the mood was a mixture of shock and a creeping realization that we were all one one step forward in the line. 

But oh, that line.

Cashman usually emails 4 or 5 pages on Thursday for us to go over before the Saturday class. Sometimes it’s Taco Bell commercials from the 80s, sometimes it’s helpful tips on how to warm up your throat. Usually he discusses them when we meet. This week, he mailed something that he never brought up. It’s a piecefrom The LA Times by Howard Leff called IF THEY MENTION VOICE-OVER WORK, IT’S ALL JUST TALK. An excerpt:

…you’ll likely discover that, on any given day in L.A., four out of every seven people are:

A. Going to a voice-over audition.

B. Going to a voice-over class.

C. About to urge someone to “do voice-overs.”

This was an interesting un-positive note in an otherwise relentlessly cheerful series of handouts. Is there really that much competition? Of course there is. One of the reasons why I have given up trying to make money as a film actor is that everyone in this town is an actor, starting with the waiters and going all the way up to the lawyers. There’s also competition everywhere else. When I had a writing agent, she advised me to shave ten years off my age so I’d have a better shot at selling scripts. Even the writers have to be hot in this town!

Still, I’d have shrugged off the handout as an attempt to clear the deadwood, to separate the confident ones from the rest, if it wasn’t for that Guy With the Mustache. 

Every week there have been a couple of people sitting in on the classes, auditing. This week there were three, including the Guy With the Mustache. He was sitting across from me, looking a little weary, a little impatient with a class full of newbies. And indeed, when he read with a couple of members (they had the character parts, he had the announcer part) the Guy With the Mustache clearly knew exactly what he was doing. His voice was deep and rich without being phony, he had perfect pronunciation, his timing was perfect. He sounded like guys I’ve heard on the radio.

After class The Guy With the Mustache complimented me as we were walking to our cars. We chatted for a few minutes and it finally dawned on me that he sounded so familiar because he was the staff announcer for a local station with the “love songs - nothing but love songs” format. He had been in the room when I seduced many dates during my time in LA. The Guy has recently been laid off from his station, a victim of the declining fortunes of radio. He made me realize that the line I’m standing in is being flooded up front by an army of seasoned professionals. And they miss their jobs.

Well, there’s always the internet, I offered brightly. 

He said, “At my peak on any given hour I had about 250,000 people listening to me. How’s the circulation on your show?” I gulped, because my other podcast gets about 60 listeners a week. This one does better, but it ain’t no 250k.

So should I be discouraged? Naw. It’s never been easy to break into the business - in fact, it’s always been impossible. If it’s more impossible than usual, whatever. Doubt is for losers. The people who wind up making it are the ones crazy enough to keep going anyway. And I’m crazy as they come, so I got a pretty good chance.

-daniel k.