At a table strewn with lead figurines and hex-graph paper sit FOUR PLAYERS and a DUNGEON MASTER, behind his dragon-emblazed standing folder.

DUNGEON MASTER: Did you hear about Gygax?

JAPHETH BLIGH (8th-level warrior): What’s that? A troll? I’m taking out my +5 Longsword–

HELVETICA the MEDIUM (6th-level Cleric) –I’m reaching into my robe for a scroll–

DM: No. Gary Gygax.

DELINDIR The ELFMASTER (7th-level Paladin) Gary? That’s a dumb name for a Troll.

MIGHTY MOGENKELLER (2nd-level dwarf) I have a +1 pointed stick! I’m jabbing him!

MogenKeller rolls twelve-sided dice. It comes up 1.

DM: That doesn’t count, Mogenkeller. Gary Gygax is a real person. He just passed away. He had a influence that far exceeded his own creations. He co-developed “Dungeons and Dragons,” which was sort of a phenomena in itself– But the genius of his legacy lies in the details. The role-playing game, where one inhabits a character and is guided on adventures by the Dungeon Master, a sort of movie director, was unique enough. But he added quantifiable elements such as ability scores: each character has an admixture of Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma, all mediated by Experience and Hit points. Run out of too many of these attributes or hit points, and your character is toast. This gaming system, initially kept pencil-on-paper, translated easily into computer-based attribute scoring. First-person shooter games like Half-Life, Doom, and Halo are merely computer-based applications of this basic system, first codified in 1974.

H. the M.: I knew that.

J.B.: Geek.

DM: The immersive, interactive world of D&D could also be considered a real-world dry run for virtual-community online games like The Sims and Second Life. In tone, details and type of play, the universe of D&D is virtually indistinguishable from World of Warcraft, the world’s most popular massively multiplayer online role-playing game.

H. the M.: Hey, why aren’t we playing that?

J.B.: Perhaps because there is something more intrinsically creative and imaginative about a role-playing game that is played face-to-face, and largely occurs inside the players heads, not on a computer screen.

D. the E.: Maybe you’re too cheap to afford $20 a month to subscribe to Warcraft.

J.B.(quietly): Let’s talk about this at home, okay?

M.M.: I have a pointed stick!

H. the M.: Hush, now.

DM: As stigmatized as D&D seems to be in popular culture (”geek!”) it’s mythical lexicon, culled from the fiction of J.R.R. Tolkien, Robert Howard and H.P. Lovecraft, has though it’s direct and indirect influences kept open a popular-culture window to fantasy entertainment. Would the Lord of the Rings trilogy have taken in nearly $3 billion if the core audience were strictly Tolkien fans– aging 60s college students– rather than the generations of people familiar with the strongly Tolkien-like D&D universe?

J.B.: That dude must have had total wealth points!

DM: You’d think so. It’s somewhat illustrative that Gary Gygax never got really, really rich off his fecund co-invention. Wizards of the Coast, a bunch of RPG publishers who got rich off of Magic: The Gathering (a very D&D-like collectible-card game) bought Gygax’s company outright in 1997, a case of the imitators acquiring the original.

D.the E.: Still, an impressive legacy nonetheless.

H. the M.: Quite the visionary.

M.M. I have a pointed stick!

J.B. (in character): I’m turning rouge… And I’m turning and stabbing Mogenkeller with my +5 Longsword!

Japheth rolls a 12.

DM: You killed him.

J.B.: Hah! Now you have to go out and get more Dr. Pepper. We’re all out.

–Skot C.

In the world of motion pictures, they love “pre-sold” properties. In other words, movie people will gladly throw money at a story if you already know it. Especially if the project is cinematic to begin with, and has already made more on it’s opening day than either Spiderman 3 (presold with two other movies) or the last Harry Potter book (5 movies, 6 books). But the movie based on Halo is in, as they say in the biz, turnaround. It ain’t movin.

Reader Uh asks “if it made that much money then why wouldn’t they make a movie on it.” Good question, Uh.  Do something about the name. Anyway, the project was rumored on the fast track, with Peter Jackson attached to produce.  It seemed like a more done deal than most, but the studios involved apparently got cold feet. Notice I say studios. Both Universal and 20th Century Fox were putting money into this movie, and that’s a clue to what’s making the trouble. You see, the movies was budgeted at over $300 million dollars.

Jackson insisted on that budget, and if he can’t get that he’s walking. The studios, on the other hand, are looking at the history of computer games that have been made into movies. Resident Evil? It did okay. Tomb Raider? Good business. Doom? Even with Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, not that big. Bloodrayne, Alone In the Dark, Silent Hill? Non-starters. Super Mario Brothers? Industry joke. The mysterious Alchemy does work the other way – games based movies often are profitable. But games almost always cost less than movies. I have a feeling that wasn’t true of Bloodrayne, but I’m not backing that up.

Anyway, by an industry rule of thumb a movie has to pull in twice its production costs to make a profit. You have to have an awful lot of confidence in a property to assume it will pull in $600 million dollars. For example, Titanic made a little over $600 million domestically, and the number two all-time box office champ, Star Wars Episode 4 to date has made $461 million. Both of these movies at least had a love interest.

Come to think of it, both of these movies at least had WOMEN. Resident Evil and Tomb Raider also featured women as main characters. I have never played Halo because I don’t own an Xbox. I also haven’t had botox nor do I do Tai Bo. Sorry, tangent. But I’m guessing that there aren’t a lot of chicks in the Halo universe. Women are probably playing the game (with those sales numbers, they MUST be) but when you’re an active participant in entertainment, you’re forced to identify with the protagonist. When it’s passive, like in a movie, well I guess if they’re not planning on recasting the lead in Halo as Mistress Chief, then it might be Super Mario Time all over again.

So maybe when 2009 rolls around, we will see a Halo movie. But unless there is some kind of sea change in the box office trends, it will either not be very Halo-ish or it will not be very expensive. My advice, Uh, is to motion-capture a few marathon sessions and cut ‘em together yourself. Add a little dialog et voila! The Halo movie you always wanted to see. And nobody has to give a dime to The Rock.

-daniel k.

Touting “the biggest entertainment launch in history,” Microsoft Wednesday announced that sales of the video game “Halo 3″ brought in an estimated $170 million during its first 24 hours on store shelves, making it the biggest one-day launch ever in the U.S. marketplace.

Remember the opening of SPIDERMAN 3? This is bigger. Plus, if I’m not mistaken, HALO 3 cost less to produce and distribute. Marketing, I’m guessing from observation, may have been at similar levels. Actually the Spiderman campaign was a little stingy by blockbuster standards, piggybacking most of its advertising on the tie-ins.

Well the important thing to take away from this is Bill Gates isn’t going broke THIS week.

-daniel k.

That’s right, it’s the hand-made Master Chief armor you’ve always wanted! There’s only one (you’re lookin’ at it) and once it’s gone, you’ll have to kill whomever outbid you to get it. From the eBay description:

You can have this suit in time for the halo (sic) launch! Wait until people see you walk in the door with this thing on! People will love you. Then, you can win all sorts of costume contests when Halloween comes around.

“People will love you?” Arguable. I wouldn’t count on sex resulting from this purchase.

There is good news in that for a while, the helmet wasn’t included, then a substitute helmet was included, but now the helmet you see in the picture is back. Also the seller is going to provide a complete gun instead of the half-gun mockup he had originally planned. And he says if you’d prefer green, you are welcome to paint it. It was green once and “it looked pretty good.”

Remember if you win: it’s great to wear if you’re fighting a boss, but DO NOT wear it to fight with YOUR boss. That’ll just get you a meeting with security.

(hat tip okfuture.net)

-daniel k.

Fresh off the startling announcement that it would take a charge of more than $1 billion to cover costs of repairing defective Xbox 360 video game consoles, Microsoft announced July 17 that its top gaming executive, Peter Moore, was leaving to run the sports franchise at top independent video game publisher Electronic Arts.

While the industry buzzed with questions about the timing of Moore’s departure less than two weeks after Microsoft announced the repair charge, Microsoft executives, in an interview with BusinessWeek, say the moves are unrelated. Microsoft officials say Moore, who was not available for comment, wanted to return to the Bay Area for family reasons… moved to the Seattle area after taking a job with Microsoft in late 2002.

Leaving to spend more time with your family is the excuse for the older executives. The younger ones generally announce they’re dehydrated.

That Xbox business is like the Monkey’s Paw: you long to posess it, it grants your wishes, then curses you. The Xbox itself though is pretty nifty. Gotta get me one of those.

-Daniel K.

* Halo 3 Special Edition Console
* Halo 3 Special Edition Wireless Controller
* Halo 3 Special Edition 20GB Hard Drive
* Halo 3 Special Edition Wired Headset
* Halo 3 Special Edition Gamer Pics and Theme (Exclusive download via Xbox LIVE)
* Component HD AV Cable
* Ethernet Cable
* HDMI Port
* Play & Charge Kit
* Xbox LIVE Silver Membership
* One-month Lbox LIVE Gold Membership

Yes, it’s like a gift to Halo fans. It has everything a Halo player could possibly, possibly want.

Oh yeah, except Halo 3. That will be sold separately.

Gizmodo also reports that the product announcement, accompanied by flashy lights and throbbing music, mostly elicited yawns and cynical laughter. Footage here!

Halo is proving to be a profitable scimitar hanging over the head of Microsoft. In addition to their troubles with this launch, the Peter Jackson-produced Halo movie is in permanent turnaround as they try to figure out a way to make it for less than $300 million. Maybe they can use some of those fancy computer graphics I have read about! Maybe not have Jim Carrey play all the parts! There’s got to be a way.

(In the interests of full disclosure, month after month our biggest Google search numbers are for the keyword “Halo”, so frankly I’d make something up if there wasn’t a story. Fortunately there is, this time. Next time, when I report that our Iraq strategy is based on a Halo session between the President and Condi Rice, that will be made up. Just so you know.)

-Daniel K.

Box Office Weekly #066 (MP3 – 15.4 MB – 22.3 min)

Listen here:

In todays show: Halo 3 is not released but it is allowed a little sunlight… first run movies in your home – who wouldn’t want that? … and in my commentary; Boston, augh, Boston. All this and networks announce the new fall shows, I make fun of the names, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (COURTESY A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following: Segment of Piece of Beta of Halo 3 To Be Released

Regal Hates Comcast

Fall Network Preview

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An ad for HALO appeared during ESPN’s Monday Night Football show. Specifically HALO 3. Ad Age brings up HALO because it’s unusual to advertise a game (such as Halo 3) which won’t be available for purchase until FALL 2007! That’s right, Microsoft Interactive is almost a year away from releasing HALO 3. Yet they are advertising HALO 3 now. How come?

The ad might help offset consumer frenzy over new game systems from rivals Nintendo (Wii) and Sony (PlayStation 3) — Microsoft’s Xbox 360 system bowed last holiday — but its timing also takes advantage of the current mad-for-gaming mind-set in an attempt to create “appointment TV for advertising.”

“We’re redefining reach and frequency,” said Jeff Bell, corporate VP-global marketing at Microsoft’s Interactive Entertainment Business. “We’re using ‘Monday Night Football’ for reach … and we’ll accumulate the frequency online.”

I shouldn’t have used those last two paragraphs, because they don’t mention HALO 3 by name at all. Let’s try again.

While it’s de rigeur Hollywood to show trailers for anticipated sequels a year or more in advance of their release, the strategy is foreign in the gaming world. But “Halo” is unique in the industry, having sold almost 15 million units for more than $700 million in sales, and “Halo 3″ is the last game of the trilogy.

A not unpopular series of games, this HALO. Jeff Bell, we learn may also be a big BORAT fan.

“This is a ‘no stone left unturned’ strategy,” Mr. Bell said. “We wouldn’t want to steal the thunder from our competition. Not! Of course we do.”

Look, I know this seems a little craven of me. But every time I add a unique visitor to the stats, an angel gets his wings. And his Halo!

(note: youtube video removed – played havoc with formatting! Click on the link above)

BTW, appropos of nothing, I get more search engine hits for the word HALO than anything else. And that should double them.

==================

A multi-zillion dollar adaptation of the popular video game HALO is being put on hold, the victim not of an alien attack, but a failure of dealmaking.

The film is a co-production of Peter (KING KONG) Jackson and Paul (MICROSOFT) Allen, and had enjoyed the backing of both Universal and 20th Century Fox when the budget was projected to be around $250 million. The studios pulled out when the figure climbed to around $380 million. And even then they might have stayed in. According to the BBC the sticking point was not the cost itself but Jackson and Microsoft’s profit participation.

Studios are increasingly walking away from the big projects because they don’t like the way the deals are structured. Usually these projects have involved Jim Carrey, but not always.

If the project doesn’t take off, instead of buying the DVD of Halo and watching it on your big screen TV, you may be forced to buy the game, put it in your X-Box and play it on your big screen TV. And Peter Jackson is completely out of the loop! Paul Allen could probably finance the thing himself with sofa change, but he’s smart enough to never invest in showbiz. His money is going into private space flight instead.