The frowny emoticon says it all, but for details refer to the audio file.

Box Office Weekly #153 (MP3 – 11 MB – 17 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures… and in this week’s commentary, movies that screenwriters would love more than you. All this and much, much less, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy Variety.com)

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1 – ADAPTATION. -  Charlie Kaufman, it seems, only writes for writers. Perhaps really he only writes for Charlie Kaufman. You recall BEING JOHN MALKOVICH or ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, screenplays that were so off-the-chart weird that you either had to really concentrate or just give up and let them wash over you. ADAPTATION was a brilliant formalist stunt disguised as a movie. In it a screenwriter named Charlie Kaufman (Nicholas Cage) frets about his inability to adapt the non-fiction book THE ORCHID THIEF into a screenplay. He solicits advice from both screenwriting guru Robert McKee (Brian Cox) and his breezier and more successful brother, Donald (Cage again). There is a specific point where Kaufman’s story becomes more action-oriented, less talky and more dynamic, almost as if Donald had taken the reins, and it all ends just like a better structured, less weird ending, which is perhaps the weirdest thing of all.

It winds up being a perfect critique of the three-act story structure, which it uses to completely obliterate its own story. Bonus points to Kaufman for bringing in real people for every character except for Donald, who doesn’t exist.

2- THE PRINCESS BRIDE – For a while there, it looked like William Goldman would run Hollywood. The man who wrote THE STING, BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, MARATHON MAN and MISERY was incapable of doing wrong. And even when he did wrong (THE GREAT WALDO PEPPER, HEAT, MAGIC) it was far more interesting wrong than most people’s. Goldman knew how to work an audience, when to twist the plot, when to pull back and when to push things farther.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE, based on his own novel, is a satirical adventure. It’s also the perfect spoof of William Goldman’s writing style done by Goldman himself. And you can learn a lot by studying these scenes and this plot, then just dialing it down for your own work.

3- EYES WIDE SHUT – Stanly Kubrick’s last movie is mostly hated. To many it seems too long and too overwrought, and pointless. I disagree. It’s not all that much fun to watch, I’ll admit, but it’s sheer bliss to think about afterwards. Because here’s the thing about it: the movie has this tone of dread and horror going all the way through it, yet you can summarize it as follows: a man’s wife reveals that she almost cheated on him once, and he becomes so angry that he spends the rest of the movie almost cheating on her.

If you find the movie unsatisfying it’s probably because literally nothing happens in it. But it plays more like “oh my god oh my god, something is about to happen! Yow, that was close… uh oh, look, something is… oh my god, it almost happened! No no no! Don’t… oh, he didn’t.” It wears a little thin at two and a half hours, but it’s such a perfect anti-narrative,  I can’t blame Kubrick for being unable to resist it. Plus it’s a big poke in the eye of American Erotophobia, which has it coming.

4 – VERTIGO – Included here as a challenge – most successful movies have a three-act structure. How many does this one have? I think 5. The first three end with Stewart failing to save Novak, the last two deal with him meeting her again and then killing her again. Or am I wrong?

5 – ROBOCOP – It’s simultaneously a cruel parody of action movies and a very effective action movie in its own right. Try pulling off such a stunt yourself! I’d buy THAT for a dollar.

There must be other movies that are especially good watchin’ for screenwriters. Any suggestions?

-daniel k

Box Office Weekly #152 (MP3 – 14 MB – 19 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Woz, Woz, Woz – why?… the Village People were wrong, you CAN stop the music… and in this week’s commentary, Steve Martin’s lamentable career choices. All this and it turns out he’s more into you than I thought, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

I CAN’T IMAGINE A MORE INNOVATIVE MODEL

ARE SEGWAYS ADMISSIBLE?

TURN THAT CRAP OFF, I’M TRYING TO WRITE A BRIEF

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His latest movie opened this weekend: The Pink Panther 2. Highlights includes Clouseau falling off a balcony at the Vatican, Clouseau falling down a chimney, and Clouseau having trouble pronouncing the word “hamburger.” 

This has always been the dilemma of Steve Martin’s career, especially his post-nineties output – he makes the most money when he’s doing work that he himself wouldn’t pay to see. PINK PANTHER and BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE and CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN kept him bankable. SHOPGIRL and NOVOCAINE and THE SPANISH PRISONER might have hurt his career, had anybody seen them. 

A good example is A SIMPLE TWIST OF FATE, Martin’s 1994 release about an emotionally distant man whose life is changed when he finds an orphaned baby at his house. Though it wasn’t touted much at the time, SIMPLE TWIST is a big screen treatment of George Eliot’s SILAS MARNER, the great novel most likely to be hated by students everywhere. You only make a movie out of Silar Marner for one of two reasons – you’re cocky and you think that somehow you can find a way to make people love the story even though you hate it like everyone else, or you are the only guy in Hollywood who actually is moved by SILAS MARNER. My gut feeling is the latter. 

Martin’s recent autobiography BORN STANDING UP is basically an explanation of the thinking that led to his phenomenal stand-up comedy act. Much of the freshness of that wild-and-crazy-guy persona came out of a desire to completely subvert the rules of comedy. It was based on logic. Typcially a comic would build tension with a setup and release it with a punchline. Martin reasoned that if you continually fed the audience setups and non-sequiturs, the laughs would come without punchlines. They’d have to. Thus the stupid jokes – the arrow though the head, the nonsensical songs, the tantrum leading up to the catchphrase “Well excuuuuuuuuuse me!” were all setups, rather than the punchlines. They became punchlines on the road as Martin discovered where the laughs were. Basically he let the audience structure his act for him.

And now he’s doing the same thing with his movie career. You guys like Queen Latifah? (”Or as I like to call her, Sequel Money” Martin quipped at the Academy Awards) then I’ll try to do another movie with the queen. You like Clouseau? Really? Okay then. More Clouseau. You guys didn’t like Sergeant Bilko? Me neither. At ease Sergeant.

Understand there’s nothing wrong with populist entertainment, just that the real Steve Martin is cranking out populist entertainment instead of the truly ground-breaking work he should be doing. He’s ransoming his immortality so he can run out and buy an armful of Monets and Picassos. This seems like a waste to me, and I hope at some point he reaches the same apotheosis that he did with his television writing and his standup career – that it’s great to have the money, but he’d rather chase his own esoteric bliss away from the dopey remakes. 

Me, I loved NOVOCAINE and THE SPANISH PRISONER. 

-daniel k

Box Office Weekly #151 (MP3 – 14 MB – 19 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: which was the best received commercial of the Super Bowl? The answer won’t surprise you… an actor’s guild kerfluffle that may not help contract talks… and in this week’s commentary, a perspective on the coming digital television apocalypse. All this and Liam Neeson kicks ass, today on Box Office Weekly. 

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE CROTCH JOKE

ACTING LIKE IDIOTS

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Note: LikeTelevision seems to be stacking the commercials a little… I was hoping the Alka-Seltzer one would load first. If it doesn’t, click on it.

-daniel k

There are few people sophisticated enough to be bloggers and podcasters, yet antediluvian enough to rely entirely on terrestrial television signals. I’m your man. And I’ve been watching DTV for over a year now, in Los Angeles, and I can tell you that it’s better than that crummy analog. In fact, it’s better than cable, because they recompress the signals. If you’re not digitally-minded, it’s like making a tape of a tape of a tape. If you have an HD set it’s magnificent, but even if you’re one of those guys who’s going to ride that trinitron until it bursts into flames, you’ll get much crisper images.

Or, of course, you’ll get nothing. That’s the thing with digital broadcasting. If the signal is weak, you don’t get snow or interference. It’s more like a blank screen, or a series of blocky still frames. If you really want to watch TV by this time next month, you can have any TV you want but you’ll either need cable or a really good roof antenna. If you live in an apartment, start a collection now, because most of the time the cable people have cut the lead to the antenna years ago. I mean it.

For my part, I’ll be especially happy to see analog go. An analog channel is typically numbered 4 or 11 or something, but since many digital stations multiplex the signal to compete with cable, you might have 4.1, 11.6 or so on. One channel I get here goes all the way to 18.8 – 8 channels of Chinese or Korean programming. And when I’m punching in the channel number on my remote, it defaults to the analog channel. Which is, as I say, crummy. Presumably when they stop running those things, I’ll go straight to 4.1 or 7.1, where I want to be. So really, this whole conversion is all about me.

A few links:

http://www.dtv.gov/ For the official government guide to DTV. Yes, it is written to be comprhensible to 10-year-olds.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harry-shearer/crystal-clear-press-relea_b_12747.html Harry Shearer, who has been a staunch opponent of the switch to DTV. News items suggesting the impending disaster of DTV have been a regular feature (”News From The Digital Wonderland”) on Le Show. He even read a letter of mine on the air, about the weekend when channel 5 disappeared. Don’t worry, it came back.

http://www.engadgethd.com/2005/08/30/hdtv-ready-vs-hdtv/ Engadget, the font of electronica, explains a few things about HDTV. Still a few days before the Superbowl, and you KNOW you can’t afford a monstrosity like this next year… grab it now, while you can.

-daniel k

Box Office Weekly #150 (MP3 – 15 MB – 22 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Beer is one thing, but NO VEGETABLES… you can’t buy rock and roll, but you can buy the box it came in… and in this week’s commentary, a look at screenplay morality. All this and I underestimated the mall cop, today on Box Office Weekly. 

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

VEGGIE TAIL

THEY DON’T TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE SEATED NEXT TO MEL GIBSON

THE DAY THE MUSIC WAS EXHUMED

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-daniel k

Best Dumb Comedy, Women’s Division:
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997)

I personally like to think this film as a mash-up of Dumb and Dumber (1994) and Thelma and Louise (1991).

The title characters, as incredibly attractive as they are, come off as quite dumb, and a lot of the humor issues forth from their general ignorance. The thing is: Yeah, these two aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer, but they don’t seem to care. Unlike most characters in Dumb Comedy movies, there does not seem to be anything really wrong with them or missing from their lives. This is quite an unusual state of affairs for any contemporary Hollywood movie, let a lone a comedy, where the protagonist always has to have some sort of personal character flaw or other sort of heroic incompleteness that only the plot can fix.

Romy White (Mira Sorvino) and Michele Weinberger (Lisa Kudrow) are best friends and roommates.
The discord that kicks off the story involves the pair wanting to make a good impression at their ten year high school reunion, where as students they were marginalized and tormented by the popular kids. With comeuppance their goal, Romy and Michele set off to find boyfriends and good jobs. They fail at both. So they set off for Tucson in a borrowed, malfunctioning Jaguar, ready to pass themselves off to their classmates as two successful businesswomen who invented Post-It notes.

A lot of the humor is in the rapport between the two lead characters. You could call the level of their discourse completely ditzy, and you’d be right. But there is superb chemistry between the pair, and not just the superficial chemistry of being dynamite-looking L.A. blonds. Romy and Michele are true BFFs, and it becomes evident that they have developed a unique shared view of the world. You don’t see that many comedies with two female leads who aren’t trying to tear each other apart (Bride Wars), and it gives Romy and Michele a sweet center.

Another singular aspect of this film is it’s NOT a romantic comedy. It was a purposeful Dumb Comedy that happened to have women in the lead roles, and that needs to be commended. The Rom Com tsunami out of the studios in later years sidetracked this promising Dumb Comedy sub-genre. Cameron Diaz tried to get something similar going in The Sweetest Thing (2002), but that film suffered from being an unbalanced mix of Dumb Comedy, RomCom and a Farrelly Brothers-style grossout.

Lisa Kudrow, a former Groundling, has superb comic timing. As Phoebe in “Friends” she could drop killer punchlines with breathless ease. In this film she joined her comic instincts with her obviously native San Fernando Valley accent to it’s best advantage.

Mira Sorvino is East Coast (Tenafly, New Jersey) and had to fake the SoCal accent. She did it by dropping her voice low and drawling, which sounds quite stupid– So it works! Her timing wasn’t as supernaturally good as Kudrow’s, but she managed to create a character more likable than anyone she has played before or since (And yeah, she was fine in Mighty Aphrodite, but not likable, and stupid in the wrong way).

A sample of the dialog:

Romy: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Michele: Do you want to try to have sex sometime just to see if we are?
Romy: What? Yeah, right, Michelle. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we’re not married by the time we’re 30, ask me again.
Michele: Okay.

(This bit above happens near the top of the film, which addresses, and dispenses with, that issue.)

Michele: Did you lose weight?
Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I’ve had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.

The extremely cool real-life irony about this film is how smart the two leads are. Lisa Kudrow has a BS in Biology (a pre-med degree, basically) from Vassar and did clinical medical research, earning, according to Wikipedia, a “research credit… on the comparative likelihood of left-handed individuals developing cluster headaches.” Mira Sorvino, the daughter of Paul Sorvino, graduated magna cum laude from Harvard, majoring in East Asian Studies. Need Smart Brain Make Dumb Comedy.

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion has an excellent supporting cast as well: Janine Garafalo, Alan Cumming, Camryn Manheim, and Justin Theroux. Twelve years old and still capable of delivering the sublime mental escape only a Dumb Comedy can deliver.

–Skot C.

Biff harasses Marty McFly, he gets covered in horse manure. If your heroes plan a heist, the heist must result in jail time. You can ignore this rule, but at your own peril. Viewers are conditioned to expect retribution for misdeeds. When it doesn’t happen it’s like there’s a reel missing or something. You leave the movie with a dissatisfied feeling.

However, the rule is so frequently followed that if you find a way to blatantly break it, you can get a lot of attention. Let’s look at some examples now, if it isn’t wrong to do so. I’m going to use murder as my crime of choice, because most people agree that it’s the the most wrong a person can do.

Woody Allen exemplifies the most obvious smashing of this convention. In MATCH POINT, the young hero has an affair which threatens his social-climbing future. He kills the mistress, and the rest of the movie is a tease in which the young man is NOT convicted for the crime. Nor does he pay for it. There is a period of anxiety as he worries that he’ll be caught, but it passes and he goes on to live an untroubled life.

Alert Allen-watchers will recognize this plot as almost the same as a portion of CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS, suggesting that the Woodman thinks that both murder and self-plagiarism can be accomplished without penalty. But it’s hard to blame him, because this plot is such a break from convention that it acts as an easy sucker-punch to moviegoers. He got OSCAR nominations for breaking this rule, man.

Of course, this isn’t the only way to violate the rule. I remember when SLING BLADE came out. Another Oscar competitor, by the way. My friend Mysti the screenwriter hated the movie, I think precisely because it violated the rule. In it a mentally challenged man named Karl is released from the institution he’s been imprisoned in all his life - at a young age he had killed someone. Now here he is, mentally disabled, with a troubled past and trying to start a new life in a small Southern town.

Karl befriends a family whose only real problem is the mother’s abusive boyfriend, and to make a long story short he winds up killing the guy with a lawn-mower blade, and is thus sent back to the institution. It’s an ironic happy ending – though he’s put away for life, Karl gets to go back to the place where he was most comfortable, and the family is rid of this boyfriend whom they couldn’t escape. Everybody wins.

Mysti’s objection, of course, was that the movie seemed to say it’s okay to kill people, if they’re the right people. I don’t think that’s what was going on at all. The clever end-run around the movie-morality rule was, in this case, that Karl’s diminished capacity rendered him unable to distinguish between good and evil. He wasn’t doing wrong – he was just killing a guy who was causing some trouble, mmmmmm-hmmm.

Which brings me to my last example, Showtime’s popular drama DEXTER. Talk about morally ambiguous: the show’s hero is a sociopathic serial killer. It’s just what he is. By his own admission he’s a monster, someone who has devoted a considerable amount of energy just to appearing normal.  How do you make a character like this sympathetic?

Dexter, knowing that he’s going to be compelled to kill anyway, chooses only unconvicted murderers as his targets. He has a job with the Miami PD as a blood spatter expert (putting all that experience to a pro-social use!) and he’s a devoted-appearing boyfriend to an emotionally-damaged single mother. You could say he overcompensating a little on the nice-guy thing, and he doesn’t really mean it; but still you can’t help but think the world could use more people like him. Or like he seems anyway.

One thing I’ll point out here is all these examples are pretty fringey entertainment. They’re weird enough that they’re never going to make STAR WARS money. They’re exceptions that prove the rule. But if you’re looking for an idea for that boring third act of your next screenplay, why not let the murderer get away for a change? Unless you have big stars already signed, it probably couldn’t hurt.

-daniel k

BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
(Paramount and Warner Bros.) A Kennedy/Marshall Production; Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
“Frost/Nixon”
(Universal) A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment 
and Working Title Production; Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers 
“Milk”
(Focus Features) A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production; Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers 
“The Reader”
(The Weinstein Company) A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production; Nominees to be determined
“Slumdog Millionaire” 
(Fox Searchlight) A Celador Films Production; Christian Colson, Producer

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor” (Overture Films)
Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon” (Universal)
Sean Penn in “Milk” (Focus Features)
Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Josh Brolin in “Milk” (Focus Features)
Robert Downey Jr. in “Tropic Thunder” (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.)
Michael Shannon in “Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Anne Hathaway in “Rachel Getting Married” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Angelina Jolie in “Changeling” (Universal)
Melissa Leo in “Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Meryl Streep in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Kate Winslet in “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company)

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Amy Adams in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Penélope Cruz in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” (The Weinstein Company)
Viola Davis in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Taraji P. Henson in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
Danny Boyle for “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) 
Stephen Daldry for “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company) 
David Fincher for “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) 
Ron Howard for “Frost/Nixon” (Universal) 
Gus Van Sant for “Milk” (Focus Features)

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
(Paramount and Warner Bros.) Screenplay by Eric Roth; Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
“Doubt” (Miramax) Written by John Patrick Shanley
“Frost/Nixon” (Universal) Screenplay by Peter Morgan
“The Reader” (The Weinstein Company) Screenplay by David Hare
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
“Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics); Written by Courtney Hunt
“Happy-Go-Lucky” (Miramax); Written by Mike Leigh
“In Bruges” (Focus Features); Written by Martin McDonagh
“Milk” (Focus Features); Written by Dustin Lance Black
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney); Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon; Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM OF THE YEAR
“Bolt” (Walt Disney) Chris Williams and Byron Howard
“Kung Fu Panda” (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount) John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney) Andrew Stanton

ACHIEVEMENT IN ART DIRECTION
“Changeling” (Universal) Art Direction: James J. Murakami, Set Decoration: Gary Fettis
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt, Set Decoration: Victor J. Zolfo
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) Art Direction: Nathan Crowley, Set Decoration: Peter Lando
“The Duchess” (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films) Art Direction: Michael Carlin, Set Decoration: Rebecca Alleway
“Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage) Art Direction: Kristi Zea, Set Decoration: Debra Schutt

ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY
“Changeling” (Universal) Tom Stern
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Claudio Miranda
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) Wally Pfister
“The Reader” (The Weinstein Company) Chris Menges and Roger Deakins
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Anthony Dod Mantle

ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN
“Australia” (20th Century Fox) Catherine Martin
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Jacqueline West
“The Duchess” (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films) Michael O’Connor
“Milk” (Focus Features) Danny Glicker
“Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage) Albert Wolsky

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
“The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)” (Cinema Guild) A Pandinlao Films Production, Ellen Kuras and Thavisouk Phrasavath
“Encounters at the End of the World” (THINKFilm and Image Entertainment) A Creative Differences Production, Werner Herzog and Henry Kaiser
“The Garden” A Black Valley Films Production, Scott Hamilton Kennedy
“Man on Wire” (Magnolia Pictures) A Wall to Wall Production, James Marsh and Simon Chinn
“Trouble the Water” (Zeitgeist Films) An Elsewhere Films Production, Tia Lessin and Carl Deal

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
“The Conscience of Nhem En” A Farallon Films Production Steven Okazaki
“The Final Inch” A Vermilion Films Production, Irene Taylor Brodsky and Tom Grant
“Smile Pinki” A Principe Production, Megan Mylan
“The Witness – From the Balcony of Room 306″ A Rock Paper Scissors Production, Adam Pertofsky and Margaret Hyde

ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) Lee Smith
“Frost/Nixon” (Universal) Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
“Milk” (Focus Features) Elliot Graham
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Chris Dickens

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM OF THE YEAR
“The Baader Meinhof Complex” A Constantin Film Production; Germany
“The Class” (Sony Pictures Classics) A Haut et Court Production; France
“Departures” (Regent Releasing) A Departures Film Partners Production; Japan
“Revanche” (Janus Films) A Prisma Film/Fernseh Production; Austria
“Waltz with Bashir” (Sony Pictures Classics) A Bridgit Folman Film Gang Production; Israel

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” 
(Paramount and Warner Bros.) Greg Cannom
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O’Sullivan
“Hellboy II: The Golden Army” (Universal) Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SCORE)
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Alexandre Desplat
“Defiance” (Paramount Vantage) James Newton Howard 
“Milk” (Focus Features) Danny Elfman
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) A.R. Rahman
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney) Thomas Newman

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SONG)
“Down to Earth” from “WALL-E” (Walt Disney) Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman; Lyrics by Peter Gabriel 
“Jai Ho” from “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Music by A.R. Rahman; Lyrics by Gulzar 
“O Saya” from “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyrics by A.R. Rahman and Maya Arulpragasam

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM
“La Maison en Petits Cubes” A Robot Communications Production; Kunio Kato
“Lavatory – Lovestory” A Melnitsa Animation Studio and CTB Film Company Production; Konstantin Bronzit
“Oktapodi”(Talantis Films) A Gobelins, L’école de l’image Production; Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
“Presto” (Walt Disney) A Pixar Animation Studios Production; Doug Sweetland
“This Way Up” A Nexus Production; Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
“Auf der Strecke (On the Line)” (Hamburg Shortfilmagency); An Academy of Media Arts Cologne Production; Reto Caffi
“Manon on the Asphalt” (La Luna Productions) A La Luna Production; Elizabeth Marre and Olivier Pont
“New Boy” (Network Ireland Television) A Zanzibar Films Production; Steph Green and Tamara Anghie
“The Pig”An M & M Production; Tivi Magnusson and Dorte Høgh
“Spielzeugland (Toyland)” A Mephisto Film Production; Jochen Alexander Freydank

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) Richard King
“Iron Man” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment) Frank Eulner and Christopher Boyes
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Tom Sayers
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney) Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
“Wanted” (Universal) Wylie Stateman

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Mark Weingarten
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney) Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Ben Burtt
“Wanted” (Universal) Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño and Petr Forejt

ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron 
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.) Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Tim Webber and Paul Franklin 
“Iron Man” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment) John Nelson, Ben Snow, Dan Sudick and Shane Mahan

Read the full article at:
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117998919.html

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Didn’t see it.
• Frost/Nixon – Didn’t see it.
• Milk – Didn’t see it.
• The Reader – Didn’t see it.
• Slumdog Millionaire – Didn’t see it.

Can’t think of the last time I was 0 for 5. Either I’m not getting out enough, or these five don’t seem all that compelling.

Also: this year, the Best Director and Best Picture nominations overlap exactly. I propose a new rule: When this happens, cancel the Best Director category. If anything, it would shave a precious fifteen minutes or so from the broadcast.

In the acting noms there were a few nice little surprises. Mickey Rourke getting a Best Actor nom for The Wrestler is good and appropriate, as is Marisa Tomei getting one for supporting actress (again!). And even more appropriate, The Wrestler did NOT get a nod for best film, director or screenplay. This recognizes that exceptional performances can happen in otherwise flawed films.

Robert Downey Jr., supporting actor in Tropic Thunder: was the academy taking the movie’s DVD commentary track at face value? Still, even one nomination from a full-on comedy (and a Dumb one, at that) is excellent. Michael Shannon, a remarkable, versatile actor (8 Mile, Bug and a nice turn as Leonard the Nazi in Let’s Go To Prison, how that for range?) got one in the same category. They’re both going up against the late Heath Ledger. The odds are fairly obvious.

Another nice surprise, waaaay down the list: A Best Original Screenplay nom for In Bruges. This was a truly wonderful little thriller, full of humor, impressive performances and. of course, a sharp, surprising script. A little recognition where it’s due.

Surprises aside, It looks like another yawner. At least they nominated Angelina Jolie, in all likelihood to guarantee she will show up for the award show. Of course, if the Academy was really on the ball, ratings and tabloid coverage-wise, they would’ve nominated Jennifer Aniston for something too, and sat them next to each other with Brad between ‘em.

–Skot C.

Box Office Weekly #149 (MP3 – 17 MB – 23 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: People prefer flakey amateur vocalists to Obama… a theatre chain cuts it’s dividend – can bring your own butter night be far behind?… and in this week’s commentary, Skot explores the pleasures of a dumb comedy. All this and the Golden Razzberry nominees, today on Box Office Weekly.

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THE LOGICAL ANTIDOTE TO THE OSCARS

OBAMA IS A LITTLE PITCHY, DOG

FOCUS! FOCUS! HELLO!

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In fact, I’ll go further than mere appreciation: he was the most interesting actor in said comedies, and did a lot, if not all, of the heavy lifting in terms of delivering the funny. He did this with a combination of a strong screen presence (despite sort of average looks– average by Hollywood standards, that is), excellent comic timing, and that good actor’s ability to really go deep into the role, no matter how ridiculous. Dax is not exactly a household word yet, but give it some time.

He’s been a few other films (he was the astronaut in Zathura) but here are the four Dumb Comedies he made a real impression in– and yeah, I know I’m shoehorning the Dumb Comedy genre here a bit for the sake of the article. Bear with me.

1. Idiocracy (2006): In this underseen Mike Judge film, Dax plays Frito Pendejo, a breathtakingly stupid lawyer from the year 2505. Luke Wilson is the lead, a man from our present, and has to sort of play the wide-eyed straight man in this comedy/social satire/frightening vision of the future. It’s up to Dax to embody the film’s premise that humanity has fallen in to a deeply idiotic state. He does not disappoint.

2. Let’s Go To Prison (2006): Another underseen comedy. It was based on a rather chilling self-help book for convicted criminals by Jim Hogshire called “You Are Going To Prison.” Because Let’s Go To Prison was adapted from this non-fiction source, a story was written to frame the intensely dark tragicomedy of modern American incarceration. Dax Shepard, sharing top billing, plays John Lyshitski, a career criminal who takes his revenge on the late judge who ruined his life out on his son, Nelson Beiderman IV (Will Arnett). Hilarity ensues, but the sick, hopeless sort of hilarity that can only take place in a realistically portrayed penitentiary. Mr. Shepard’s transformation into the appearance of a rangy, amoral convict is startling, utterly convincing. He’s the anti-hero of the piece: the only viable protagonist in a comedy as dark as this, a loser with a firm internal moral compass but nothing else.

3. Employee Of The Month (2006 again!) Alright, this one was underseen AND poorly reviewed. I thought it was a darn fine little movie. It also the one of these four which adheres structurally to the Dumb Comedy genre: fast jokes, parody elements, a Deus Ex Machina ending, and a low budget. It has done $34 million in worldwide box office on a microscopic $12 million budget, which is definitely in line with how the genre works. Dax Shepard plays Vince Downey, a pompous cashier at a big-box retailer (It was shot in a Costco) who is gunning for both Employee of the Month and the affection of the new cashier, Amy (Jessica Simpson). Can lowly boxboy Zack (Dane Cook) pull out of his slacker haze and win both? Well, duh.

Mr. Shepard creates a character who is, I’m positive, more interesting than the scripted one. He fleshes Vince Downey out: He is a conflicted ball of vanity and insecurity, exhibiting all sorts of subtle mannerisms, verbal tics, and fleeting expressions. It sounds hammy the way I describe it, but I think he managed to give his character a depth that was above and beyond what the other principals put into their onscreen personae. Dane Cook just plays himself. Jessica Simpson– Ya know what? She really, really tries in this movie, and in a few scenes she manages to come across as an actual actress, but for the most part she is less than the sum of her considerable visual charms. And she can’t even control those: in several unintentionally hilarious scenes she is obviously struggling to figure what to do with her mouth.

4. Baby Mama (2008) – Dax Shepard plays Amy Poehler’s low-life husband in this… um… would you call it a fertility comedy? He brought just as much funny as Ms. Poehler or Tina Fey, and quite a bit more than Greg Kinnear could manage.

There may be Kings of Dumb Comedy (Adam Sandler hasn’t made a smart one yet) but Dax seems to be a solid up-and-comer, and I’m sure his best work is still ahead of him.

–Skot C.

At its heart WALK HARD is a parody of the Johnny Cash biopic WALK THE LINE, which seems a better approach to this sort of thing than the kitchen-sink strategy of DATE MOVIE or MEET THE SPARTANS. Sure there are a few stabs at also parodying RAY (early on, a traumatic event causes Dewey to lose his sense of smell) but they’re gunning for the Cash movie. 

It’s also a wise choice because WALK THE LINE was this close to being a parody of itself. Pushing it over the edge didn’t take an awful lotta work.

There’s nothing all that surprising in WALK HARD, because the Apatow comedy factory has been perfecting this style with Will Farrell movies for years now. The narrative is kind of a rewrite of TALLEDEGA NIGHTS with music subbing for Nascar, and John C. Reilly subbing for Ferrell. Actually there is one surprise – Reilly can really sing. He’s got a great range too. Johnny Cash’s baritone to Roy Orbison’s tenor – Reilly does both, convincingly, often in the same song. 

Parody is the Ginger Rogers of genres. No one recognizes the talent it takes, but It does everything the original does, only backwards and in high heels. It has to because the goofy punchlines only work in the context of letter-perfect copies in the setups. 

Anyway, it’s pretty damn funny. It kind of tapers off at the end, but the beginning and middle are golden. 

-daniel k

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Best Ben Stiller/Vince Vaughn Dumb Comedy

Now, in terms of the Ben Stiller half of the twofer, why would I like Dodgeball more than the Ben Stiller-directed films Zoolander (2001) and Tropic Thunder? As is a theme with me, I like the common touches of Dodgeball. It’s right in the subtitle: it’s an underdog story. Mr. Stiller’s movies are really, really funny, but they’re ultimately films about people in the arts– modeling and acting, respectively. And true, he shows no mercy for either flavor, There’s still a whiff of write-what-you-know to them.

What I really appreciate about Ben Stiller is his ongoing commitment to not take himself seriously in any of his moves. Even in romantic comedies like There’s Something About Mary (1998) his remake of The Heartbreak Kid (2007) he is willing to go that extra mile to make a complete fool of himself. He’s a good argument for comedy being in one’s genes.

In Dodgeball he is White Goodman, the menacing, smarmy, ignorant, utterly self-absorbed owner of GloboGym, a chain of glossy exercise facilities. He has his sights set on Average Joes, a run-down gym across the street, intending to close it and turn it into a parking lot. Of course it is up to a ragtag bunch of regulars, lead by Average Joe’s down-and-out owner Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn) to band together and save their gym.

As goes with most Dumb Comedies, Dodgeball is a film that isn’t afraid to jam humor into everyone and everything with a name: Goodman the antagonist versus Le Fleur the good guy. The final faceoff is the ADAA (American Dodgeball Association of America) finals, covered by “The Ocho,” ESPN 8 (“If it’s almost a sport, we have it here.”) with commentary by two guys named Cotton and Pepper. A Mexican restaurant called The Dirty Sanchez is prominent, and the Deus Ex Machina device near the end (all Dumb Comedies have ‘em) is conveniently labeled as such.

Vince Vaughn, our protagonist, is one of the most peculiar comedic leads around. Unlike Ben Stiller, he does not make himself look foolish. He doesn’t need to. His screen persona tends to be wisecracking and self-assured, but with a brittle, insecure edge. In Old School (2003) he was the prime instigator of that film’s frat-boy shenanigans, but was at the same time a devoted family man. In Starsky and Hutch (2004) he was the heavy, but the final showdown involved his preoccupation with his son’s bar mitzvah. Vince Vaughn’s appeal lies in his genetic likability and verbal comic timing, which puts him in the same league as Clark Gable, another actor adept at playing himself.

(an aside on Zoolander: I saw this film for the first time a few weeks ago. Don’t know why it took so long. Vince Vaughn has a uncredited cameo as Derek Zoolander’s coal-mining brother. It’s a bit part, and he never says a word. He stares at Ben Stiller with a strange bug-eyed intensity. Since I had seen Mr. Vaughn’s lead-man work before I saw this, it gave his appearance a bit of extra retroactive weirdness. It was like the end of Psycho (1960), where Norman Bates was being guarded by… anchorman Ted Baxter from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”)

Stiller and Vaughn aren’t what you might call a natural comic duo. (Now take Will Farrell and John C. Reilly: that’s another story.) But the frisson of one full-immersion comic going up against an actor who’s stock in trade is his rarely-changing persona makes sets up excellent comic tension on several levels.

Dodgeball is a tightly written, extremely Dumb Comedy, a perfect little brain vacation. It’s also a good movie for sports haters. The Waterboy was set against the world of NCAA football, and it took a bit of familiarity with it to get all the jokes. The sport of dodgeball doesn’t really exist. At least it didn’t before the film came out.

–Skot C.

ADDENDUM: Having seen Dodgeball again on the unrated DVD and perused all the extras, I discovered some interesting production-related facts about it, things any aspiring screenwriter or director will find delightful:
1. The script was a first-time sale, written on spec.
2. Dodgeball runs 92 minutes. The screenplay is included on the disc as a DVD-ROM extra. It is 129 pages long, with no significant differences in content from the movie. Rule #1 for spec scripts is: never go over 100 pages. The fact that Dodgeball violates this rule is proof that, like Diablo Cody and Juno, if you get the pitch right and deliver the goods the rules don’t matter.
3. Rawson Marshall Thurber, the writer (who had only one credit to his name, a short film), sold the script on the condition he would be attached to direct. And he got it. Why? It was specifically written for a low budget.
4. Production budget: $20 million; Domestic BO: $110 million. –s

It is difficult to convey how good this show is without coming off like a gushing fanboy. It’s that name. True, revisualizing the mostly silly original show was the reason it was greenlighted, but it makes for a bold brand. This is unfortunate, because it is one of the most thoughtful, exciting, and well-written shows to air since “The Sopranos.” The thing about this particular, quite appropriate comparison is one can easily advocate the greatness of David Chase’s HBO series and, because of the show’s sort of neutral-sounding name, come off sounding mature.

When you tell someone “Battlestar Galactica” is one of the tightest-scripted shows on television, one which regularly explores big themes of morality, mortality, authority and technology while delivering tense, character-driven plots, the someone you’re telling this to rarely even get past the name. I’ve actually had this happen to me: When I asked an acquaintance if they watched “Battlestar Galactica,” he replied by bugging his eyes slightly and, in an affected nerdy lisp, said “You mean ‘Battlethtar Galacthica?’” In the very next sentence, he admitted had never even heard of it.

It’s their loss, and really that makes it everyone’s loss.

This great show with the geeky name set a new high standard for series storytelling, and not just for science fiction shows. When it finishes, there will be “Caprica,” a new show In the same universe, slated to start in 2010. But it’s a prequel, so the characters of “BSG” aren’t coming back. Bill and Lee Adama, anguished Kara Thrace, comically self-involved Gaius Baltar, Tigh, Chief Tyrol, Anders and the sexy, scary Number Six, no more.

Coincidentally, this very weekend there is to be a live auction of the props, costumes and other tangible evidence of the production of “Battlestar Galactica” in Pasadena. (they must have trucked it all down from Vancouver.) These sort of things are a great opportunity, in that with a little money and auctioning skill one can own, say, a Colonial Fleet lapel pin or one of Number Six’s miniskirts or a full-sized Viper for the kids to play on in the backyard.

What I don’t like about it is this auction is also a wake. Like the Star Trek auction a few years back, it’s the studio saying “It’s really over and it ain’t coming back.” For a fellow brought up in the era of open-ended television series, a part of me thinks it transcends logic. “Why, of Course it can come back! Look at ‘Family Guy!’ Or, uh, ‘Battlestar Galactica!’”

So Dan: Pasadena is too far for me to make on short notice, so you have to get down there and get me a Raptor windshield. Oh, okay: I know it won’t fit in your car. Just the auction catalog then. Thanks.

–Skot C.

It’s not as if movies have gone comedy blind: There are plenty of wonderful funny films out there in current release. I can’t actually think of any, mind you: All that comes to mind in terms of theatrical releases is Bride Wars, and you know how I feel about that one.

Instead, we’re getting films like Sam Mendes’ Revolutionary Road. This one strikes me as super tone-deaf, regardless of its setting in the late 1950s.* As evidenced in his previous American Beauty (1999), Mr. Mendes has no problem “exposing” the vapid hollowness and quiet desperation of American suburban life. I dunno. With the spectre of ever-increasing foreclosures and the ebbing of middle-class jobs, I don’t think a jeremiad on the perils of suburban conformity is really what’s called for right now. There are plenty of folks out there who would find a life of lawn-mowing and keeping up with the Jonses pretty damn enticing.

It’s time to advocate for dumb comedies. These are films that succeed on their own modest terms. They’re generally designed as moneymaking flicks, not to be thought of past the parking lot, and serve the noble purpose of easing life’s burdens for an hour and a half.

It’s a narrow field, the truly worthy dumb comedy. On the downslope are failed dumb comedies like The Love Guru or Yes Man or Meet Dave (all 2008), which are either ego-driven, nosebleed-high-concepts or otherwise failed to provide the goods. On the upslope are hyphenated comedies like Vicky Christina Barcelona or Marley and Me, which are funny enough but still have elements of tragedy or drama or other chunks of the real world in them. They don’t provide the salubrious, full-immersion, switch-off-your-brain therapy of a dumb comedy.

Here’s the first candidate of recommended Dumb Comedies, which I’m going to group by personality.

The Waterboy (1998): Best Adam Sandler Comedy.

Mr. Sandler has never made a finer, funnier film. His recent work has suffered a Robin Williams-like drop in quality, in all likelihood due to the over-calculation and egoism that is tied to his very success. But eleven years ago, he was willing to play the fool.

Bobby Boucher, character he plays, is a 30-year-old, stuttering, mama’s-boy ignoramus who lives in a swamp and is content to suffer the abuse of the football players he fetches water for. Only when he connects with the immense store of pent-up rage from those long years of abuse does he show his true skill: delivering bone-crunching tackles. This sounds like the plot of a slasher flick, but it works. It works because the film is a dumb comedy.

To paraphrase Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, Sandler’s character works because he never goes “full retard.” Bobby is an ignorant hayseed, but he has a genuine talent at something– just like Forrest Gump, which was released four years previous. And as I mentioned, he was willing to do the Cajun hillbilly accent and play a virgin who wets his bed and to be the focus of derisive laughter for the audience– and his evident and innate talent at gridiron violence absolves the audience of any guilt they may feel by laughing at him. It’s great to catch comedians at this phase, when they are willing to do anything: Jim Carrey in Liar Liar (1997), Steve Martin in The Jerk (1979), Robin Williams in– hey, I’m drawing a blank.

Full of excellent, loopy dialog, nice performances by Kathy Bates, Henry Winkler and Fairuza Balk, it’s a football film for people who can’t stand football. Like Airplane (1980), when I come across it on cable I’ll just pick it up, start watching it, and laugh my ass off every time.

The Waterboy’s magic formula for a successful dumb comedy is the fact it never takes itself too seriously, which is more than can be said of Sandler’s newer films. The Longest Yard (2005) is now big-time-famous Adam Sandler’s football movie, and it suffers from his stiff unwillingness to make fun of himself. He is a straight man in a movie with no comedians save Chris Rock, who gets killed off halfway through. It made $158 million at the box office on an $82 million production budget. The Waterboy made $161 million on a budget of $23 million.

Enjoy some guilt-free, issue-free, reality-free laughs with The Waterboy, and stand by for more Dumb Comedy recommendations.

–Skot C.

*Early lesson from film school: all period pieces address the times in which they were made. Check out Kirk Douglas’ flat-top haircut in Spartacus (1960) if you don’t believe me.

Box Office Weekly #148 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: TV networks are shocked to find old people watching them… come back short eyes, all is forgiven… and in this week’s commentary, Skot delves into the enigma of Kate Hudson’s career. All this and the whats on cable, today on Box Office Weekly.

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WHAT ABOUT GRAMPS?

SHE JUST DIGS HIM

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Bride Wars is stale goods out of the gate, a film conceived and produced on the other side of the new and ever-widening gulf that falls roughly around September 2008. To wit: in the ever-grimmer economic environment that seems to descending like a fog over all of us, a frothy comedy about two girls who must, absolutely must, have their perfect, perfect weddings at the Plaza seems a bit out of step with current sensibilities. To be kind, Bride Wars is a misfire, a January studio dump release, a victim of changing times. To be uncharitable, the movie is tin-eared and cliched on its face, conceived with the same feel for the common moviegoer’s life as, say, Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

As loyal readers of TPN::BOW (and there are quite a few, I suspect) know, I have singled out Ms. Hudson as a “force-fed celebrity” for some time. But now MSM film reviewers (and not just in-the-sticks bloggers like yours truly) are getting in on the act too, going out of their way to get in their shots. As evidence, these Bride Wars review excerpts:

Manohla Dargis, New York Times:

But then this is a Kate Hudson flick, after all (she was also one of the producers), and often as inconsequential as almost every other Kate Hudson movie of the last decade.

Ann Hornaday, Washington Post:

But it’s Hudson who seems to have fallen most mightily here. A lovely actress who at one point seemed to have inherited her mother Goldie Hawn’s gift for light-as-meringue comedy, she’s relegated to Bride-Who-Ate-Manhattan in “Bride Wars,” grimacing under a frowzy blond helmet and coming across as brassy, coarse and hardened. She had a promising career once, but now it looks stranded at the altar.

Todd McCarthy, Variety:

As top-billed Kate Hudson takes a producer credit here, she can no longer blame anyone else for poor scripts she accepts with uncanny consistency — 10 in a row at this point — whereas co-star Anne Hathaway can chalk it up to a well-accoutered payday.

Kate Hudson baffled me with her ability to open up movie after movie, each as unremarkable, bland and fairly underperforming as the next. I think what I gained with the perspective of the MSM reviewer’s brickbats is a new theory. Kate Hudson is not a inexplicable force of Hollywood nature: She is an SUV. An ungainly, inelegant product of a time of prosperity. She was the “what the hell, why not?” casting choice: if the studio is holding a middling script and needs a tabloid-friendly face to put on the one-sheet, it was time to call Kate’s agent. If her prior films were underwhelming duds, so what? There is plenty of development money out there, and there is always next time.

Many things that seemed reasonable just a few months ago (an adjustable mortgage, Sarah Palin, SUVs, a $100,000 wedding) seem a part of another era. I never would have thought to define Kate Hudson as being a product of another era. Apparently I didn’t have to.

–Skot C.

Box Office Weekly #147 (MP3 – 13 MB – 19 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Potentially bad news for people who author DVDs… Finally, more Mickey Rourke… and in this week’s commentary, a generous serving of Richard Cheese! All this and the dog movie that won’t roll over, today on Box Office Weekly.

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THE WAVE OF THE PAST

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MICKEY ROURKE IS GIVEN ANOTHER CAREER TO RUIN

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The Fast and The Furious was a big hit: It had everything one was looking for in escapist summer entertainment, and tied into the red-hot custom-import racing subculture. Kids from New Jersey and San Dimas to Osaka and Hong Kong were tricking out their Hondas and Mazdas with high-performance gear and retina-thrashing paintjobs and raced them in the streets, and the film captured the look and feel of this phenomenon well.

As far as the story went, however, the movie was a Studebaker: A creaky old chestnut of a script about an undercover cop infiltrating a street gang to get to a criminal mastermind. This was the basic story of White Heat (1949), lots of exploitation films from the fifties, too many biker films from the seventies, Point Break and The Departed (2006), which was at least Oscar-worthy.

But sometimes all you need is a sexy cast to sell a frozen leftover plot, and TFATF had that in abundance. Paul Walker was Brian O’Connor the undercover cop, surfer-boy cute. The bald, buff, improbably East Coast accented Vin Diesel was Dominic Toretto, the bad guy (or was he?). Ingenues Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster were the love interests.

Breakout roles for all four actors, and predictably when it came time to make the sequel (2 Fast 2 Furious, 2003) only Paul Walker showed up. Vin Diesel and director Rob Cohen moved on to try at international spy thrillers with the remarkably stiff xXx. The girls moved on as well– not to better things, however. Jordana was in the laughably bad D.E.B.S. and Michelle Rodriguez– Well, she was in Bloodrayne and a few episodes of “Lost.”

Despite the presence of Tyrese Gibson and Eva Mendes, 2 Fast 2 Furious suffered the inevitable fate of all franchised enterprises: Diminishing returns. It’s that damned rule that says that if you output the exact same product over and over again, you will get less return on investment every time. In Hollywood, this isn’t always the law (here are some nice examples) but generally Police Academy rules apply.

Speaking of which– According to the IMDb, Police Academy 8 is scheduled to be released in 2011. Which is a good thing, because the world is scheduled to come to an end the year after that.

Universal wasn’t done with the custom-import thing yet, so out came another sequel: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift in 2006. Everyone involved with the original had jettisoned at this point. Zachery Ty Brian, Who played Tim Allen’s doofusy kid Brad in “Home Improvement,” was fourth-billed. It went nowhere, did nothing. No surprise: It was very much in line with how diminishing returns works. The studio was trying to squeeze just one more release out of a bone-dry franchise.

Ta-dah! Here comes a brand new one, set to release in April 2009. It’s starkly named Fast & Furious. But the puzzling part: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster are all back. For the life of me, I cannot think of another circumstance where all the initial leads of a franchise have ditched en masse, and then reassembled far downstream, with a block of irrelevant sequels between them and the original.

Perhaps the hard fiscal realities of the present time and the somewhat modest career arcs of the principals in the last few years made this do-over inevitable. And Universal is positively giddy about branding this release as being exactly the same movie as the first one. Its tagline says it all: “New Model. Original Parts.” The pre-release poster features not a customized Japanese racecar but Dominic’s totemic 1970 Dodge Charger from the first movie.

Best is the trailer, which I had the pleasure of running across in HD last night. It detailed the heist of a super-long gas truck by our leads. With the exception of the fact they were jacking an oh-so-valuable gas truck (which dates the thing to this summer’s gas-price spike) and the stated location of said jacking (The Dominican Republic, according to the titles, apparently in a part of that island nation that looks just like the desert north of Los Angeles), they did the exact same thing in the first movie.

Which is the point, apparently.

–Skot C.

Richard Cheese and his trusty backup combo Lounge Against the Machine have facsimated me all this decade. If you’re not hip, they’re a swanky lounge act that specializes in alternative and hip-hop material. When you consider that people who love lounge music are too old to dig Radiohead and most Radiohead fans are too young to like lounge, perhaps Cheese’s greatest coup is making a living with an act that has no target audience.

And the thing is, he’s a really gifted lounge singer. Impressive range, smooth as a silk cummerbund, pitch perfect. And his band is more than up to the task of keeping up with him. Even without the Brittney Spears jokes and Ol’ Dirty Bastard covers they’d be worth catching.

Nonetheless Cheese and Co capture the energy of a particularly weird era, that twilight of the gods period of the late sixties when the rat pack was still commercially viable but standards weren’t, and Sinatra was forced to turn to George Harrison’s SOMETHING for fresh material. Listen to Sammy Davis Jr’s attempt to make THEME TO SHAFT work for him to see what a hilarious train wreck this era was.

Cheese’s act is similarly hilarious. I had caught him live last August at the Coverville 500 show and in that context the show didn’t work so well. Of you don’t know what you’re in for (Cheese was the last of six acts) you can mistake the gag for real bad taste, the Ricklesisms for real hostility. At AJs it was different. Maybe it was the swanky décor and red meat; or maybe it was an audience who saw it coming and welcomed it. Either way it was a perfect little foul-mouthed gem, that show.

AJs closes its doors next week, and Cheese is said to be on his farewell tour, grabbing as many gigs as he can before his voice gives out. See him if you can. I’d recommend a scotch and soda too. For context.

Box Office Weekly #146 (MP3 – 14 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: You should have cashed out before the premiere of MY OWN WORST ENEMY… The Terminator is unstoppable AND he won’t fade… and in this week’s commentary, the worst variety show ever. All this and The Boss greets you at the door, today on Box Office Weekly.

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SELL VIACOM, INVEST IN GOLD AND SHOTGUN CASINGS

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Two films were seen here in the last few days. They were very different, but both were superb, thought-provoking works. And refreshingly, both were meditations on American life.

The Wrestler – Darren Aronofski’s film is a gritty, unvarnished look into the life, loves and tribulations of Randy “The Ram” Robinson, a very over-the-hill professional wrestler. He’s played by Mickey Rourke, who now bears as much a physical resemblance to his former 9 ½ Weeks self as Miss Piggy has to… well, a pig. The director works with his startling looks, basically hiding the camera behind his head, his long bleach-blond locks filling the frame, for the first few minutes of the film. But his lumpy, padded face works perfectly for the character, and Mickey Rourke works, turning in a powerful performance.

One of the most interesting aspects of The Wrestler is it’s use of typeage, The Eisensteinian theory of real-world-derived casting. Mickey Rourke has been sidelined just about as long as his character has, about twenty years. He spent a lot of time boxing and abusing his body. So it isn’t hard to see how he was able to reach down deep.

Another big positive this film has going for it is Marisa Tomei as Cheyenne, Randy’s sort-of love interest. She plays a stripper in a gentleman’s club our protagonist frequents, and appropriately she is nearly nude in several scenes. Let’s just say that, unlike Mickey Rourke’s face, Ms. Tomei is very well-preserved. When she makes her first topless appearance, I heard a few quiet “wows” in the audience. Including my own.

I have to throw in a knock for this film’s cinematography. Sometimes, a restless, moving camera can really make a film seem vivid and realistic. But in the case of The Wrestler all the hand-held shots tends to feel like obtrusive, coarse technique. Indie-film, I get it already. There are also way too many medium close-ups, one shot after the other framed head-height, which give it a slightly claustrophobic feel. There is a technical reason for this: The Wrestler was shot in Super16 (1.66:1) and projected in ‘Scope (2.35:1), which in all likelihood required cropping the top and bottom of the image. I predict the full-frame version that will eventually be shown on cable might seem better composed.

Gran Torino – I originally thought this Clint Eastwood film was more Oscar-bait, but after some thought I realized it was simply a new Dirty Harry movie, but this time Harry Callahan is retired and bitter.

This film tells the story of a old-school, unabashedly racist widower in Detroit who becomes involved in the lives of his Hmong neighbors. Clint Eastwood is of an age and stature that he can have his character rattle off the most shocking racial epithets you can imagine, stuff any decent or even reasonably polite person would never dare utter– and can not only pull it off, but get a laugh out of it. (Eastwood’s history of playing intimidating characters helps a bit too.) I saw this film in San Francisco, and the crowd was a good mix of ethnicities. Everyone roared at his outbursts.

The film may seem like a gritty story of a man fighting street gangs in a decaying Midwestern city, but that’s just not what it’s about. It’s about the changing definition of what an American is, and that these changes can still create bonds of respect and community. As much as immigrants have much to gain in America, traditional Americans have something to gain from them as well.

There is also a nice twist at the end, one I just did not see coming.

Gran Torino was photographed by Eastwood favorite Tom Stern in classical Hollywood style, in Panavision and given a slightly bleached look in post. I’m making a point to compare the look of this film to The Wrestler, and finding favor in the traditional, well-worked studio look over the immediacy of hand-held indie films. It’s a point that reflects on audience anticipation: we have watched enough movies and television to have trained our expectations. Movies, slickly photographed with a camera on a tripod, are processed naturally, leaving us free to pay attention to the story being told. Anything else tends to stick out to the viewer, to divert attention away from the story to the filmmaker. Drawing attention to the camerawork is an auteur move, and one not every director can pull off successfully.

Cinematography quibbles aside, both of these films are worth seeing on the big screen.

–Skot C.

With so many cable channels nowadays, there is almost no such thing as rare televsion. It seems that anything that ever aired has a channel devoted to its reruns, from game shows to reality shows to, well, shows. If it isn’t on TV it’s on Hulu, or A&E has a series of DVDs. If you are dying to see a commercial for Winson cigarettes that used Fred Flintstone as a spokesman, Google it. It’s there.

Box Office Weekly #145 (MP3 – 15 MB – 22 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: A strike vote is delayed so they can talk the actors into striking… China finally bans the right thing… and in this week’s commentary, Skot applies his considerable expertise toward explaining Blu-Ray! All this and we remember Jim Carrey – oh, is he still alive? today on Box Office Weekly.

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TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

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STRIKE WHEN THE IRON HEATS UP A LITTLE

WOOKIES IN TAP SHOES

AN ARGUMENT FOR REPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT

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Well, almost. Probably due to some manual relinking, TPN:: Box Office Weekly is running a fresh new header: “The PSP Show.” (It’s only the header image: all our content is intact!)

Just for the record, I don’t know much about Sony PlayStation Portable. Nonetheless, I will use this coincidental glitch to kick off an observation I had about PSP’s strange new TV ad campaign.

These ads feature a POV of someone eagerly playing a PSP. As you, the player/viewer, thumb away, a day-long, pixilated (high-speed stop-motion) tour of a metropolis occurs in the background. The ones I’ve seen take place in New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

There are several baffling things about these ads. One is the fact that the POV “player/viewer” roams the most exciting and picturesque areas of, for example, New York City– the Brooklyn Bridge, Greenwich Village, etc.– and NEVER takes his hands off, and attention away from, the PSP. In fact, at the end of this particular ad, the player/viewer winds up atop a building in Manhattan during a gorgeous sunset. So what? We’re watching Superbad.

The advertisers are using the sensory delights of American cities to give PSP a hip, urban identity and to strengthen the idea that they are true urban lifestyle accessory. But as we never seem to be able to lift our eyes off the ever-alluring PSP screen, the ad seems to be saying the opposite. The city is backdrop, mere scenery. New York, Chicago, whatever: They are all completely interchangeable, and not as important or compelling as beating your own high score on “Midnight Club: L.A. Remix” or watching a wobbly teen sex comedy on a tiny screen.

Another strange aspect is the fact the player/viewer is constantly surrounded by his/our attractive young friends. They seem to be absolutely fascinated with us. They engage us eagerly as we cruise Los Angeles in the back seat of a classic drop-top. They make flirty eyes with us at a sidewalk café in the Village. They get terribly excited by our PSP on an El train, headed into The Loop.

Mentally step outside the POV, and who then is the Player/viewer? Why, he’s the dips*** who never puts down the goddamn PSP. I don’t think I have ever seen a group of young, attractive people walking around a major city, towing some geek madly thumbing away on a game console– He’d be jettisoned fairly early as the hopeless, socially inept dork he is. Even more hilariously, the player/viewer in the Chicago ad ends up with his friends at a nightclub. Not hard to guess who’s going home alone.

My personal observances of actual PSP players is limited to sullen teens hunched over their consoles, trying desperately to ignore wherever they’ve been dragged to or whomever they are supposed to be visiting.

Honest to God, I’m not spouting truisms here, like the fact that television ads are all made-up and not entirely honest. What I’m trying to convey is these ads show Sony’s rather insidious worldview in an unusually straightforward way, and the way they pitch the appeal of their gizmo is remarkably silly. Obsess over our personal gaming system, and you won’t lose your friends. Play the PSP every waking hour and you will somehow magically stay socially connected and even attractive (the LA player/viewer gets a peck on the cheek by a cute girl), rather than be perceived as an insular loner. And finally: go nuts with your little gadget, because wherever you’re playing is pretty much like every other place.

PSPs are excellent boredom-killing devices, because if you have one, you can kill boredom anywhere. The slogan at the end of the ads is “Everywhere Just Got Better.” Even if the ads seem to be saying “Everywhere Just Got Boring.”

–Skot C.

ADDENDA: The header is all better now. So much for that bridging device.

The industry went the other way, with Blu-ray Disc (BD). The cascade of manufacturers and BD content providers became an irresistible force for this format, and its rival vanished rather quickly.

Technically, there are good things and not-so-good things about BD. From a viewing aspect, BD is as good, if not better, than HD-DVD, and generally better than any cable or satellite-based delivery. It can carry 25 Gigabytes of data per layer, for a maximum of 50 GB. This allows for extraordinary image quality, full 1080 grandeur. It beats cable or satellite in image quality (there are always going to be some compression artifacts as broadcast) and capability (all the fun bells and whistles from standard-def DVD are available).

What is not so hot about BD is really of concern at the front end, with content producers and distributors: How they’re made. HD-DVD were designed to be “super-DVDs,” utilizing a toolkit very similar to standard def DVDs. The format used to author Blu-ray Discs is radically different: Most professional BD authoring is controlled by Sony, who developed an extraordinarily expensive program for creating them.

Another feature of BDs is AACS. This is basically an anti-piracy content protection scheme. The tough part is that EVERY Blu-ray Disc HAS to have a unique AACS license. And for the time being, AACS licensing ain’t cheap.

Because the public chose Blu-ray Disc format, the path to making truly cheap HD discs is hamstrung by serious content-control by Sony and others. This is a big concern for the future of the format: the market needs more titles to keep up public interest, and it especially needs specialty titles (stuff like documentaries, indie films, and even self-help and exercise videos) to help consumers justify the purchase of a BD player. More titles means the cost of producing BDs will go down, and that means the retail cost will go down as well. I don’t think anyone wants BD to the exclusive domain of the studios– You, the independent filmmaker, and you, the indie and specialty distributor, need to get your stuff out there in 1080 HD as well, for the good of the industry and the format.

The other thing that has to happen is the players have to get less expensive– and that is happening. Daniel just got one for less than $200!

All a content owner, producer or distributor can do to control the initial cost of producing content in BD is to get the authoring done inexpensively.

Gee, what a coincidence: Inexpensively authored Blu-ray Discs are exactly what my company offers!

I don’t mind making the rest of this blog entry a blatant advertisement for SB Digital LLC, because we can actually author replication-ready BD– Inexpensively. Seriously, we’re less than half the cost of our local competitors, and we’re less than the Los Angeles post houses that offer it as well. (our secret: Low overhead and deep experience. Over 3000 DVD titles so far!) So if you’re thinking of taking the plunge, go for it: now is definitely the time. And if you want to go Blu-Ray Disc affordably, drop us a line: We can help.

As blatant an advertisement as this is, there is a Higher Purpose at work here. The Blu-Ray Disc format needs to succeed. It is the best way to watch movies at home yet invented, and can offer the depth of content (extras, outtakes, etc) that made DVD such a resounding success. This depth of content is part of what makes movies exciting for people, what makes them look forward to new releases, and piques their interest in the beauty and artistry of cinema. Cable and Satellite can deliver movies, but only optical discs can deliver them in a package that you can own, and truly explore.

–Skot C.

Box Office Weekly #144 (MP3 – 15 MB – 22 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Movies from way beyond the top ten… SAG potentially gettin’ screwed by AFTRA… and in this week’s commentary, Klatuu Barada, Nicto – whoa! All this and beastly weather still doesn’t help the networks, today on Box Office Weekly. 

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

LAST CHANCE TO HEAR THESE TITLES

MESSING WITH SUCCESS

AFTRA: THE LOVIN’

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I may have finally found out what Internet TV is good for.

Hulu.com is perhaps the finest internet TV site I’ve found yet. It is fairly light on the advertising, and has a full-screen option that works smoothly and easily. It features a truly eclectic mix of viewable content. New stuff like “The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” “Saturday Night Live” and “American Dad,” and old stuff like “Speed Racer” and “Married With Children.” But Hulu carries one series in its entirety, a nearly forgotten show from 2000, and this one show drew me in and made me watch obsessively: “Cleopatra 2525.”

Alright, I’ll wait ’til you’re done snickering.

This show was part of the “Action Pack,” a syndication package of shows produced by Robert Tapert and Sam Raimi and for the most part shot cheaply in New Zealand. They followed the success of “Hercules” and especially “Xena: Warrior Princess,” offering similar frothy, swash-bucking, comic-book-like adventure shows.

“Cleopatra 2525,” the only sci-fi offering from this slate, told the story of an exotic dancer (The adorable Jennifer Sky) who goes in for routine cosmetic surgery and awakens 500 years later. (Cleopatra was her stage name.) She becomes a part of an elite squad of women warriors (”Firefly’s” Gina Torres as Hel and Victoria Pratt as Sarge), who are tasked with fighting the aliens who have taken over the surface of the earth– and their terminator-like robotic infiltrators.

I believe it’s okay to hold television to a common standard. In fact, television is often at its best when it’s not trying to put on a tie and reach for transcendence. And for my money, “Cleopatra 2525″ had everything I wanted in a television show: Ray-gun battles. Exotic special effects. Cool martial arts stuff. A nice light touch of humor. And finally– and I can’t stress enough how key this is– Girls running around in their underwear all the time. it was The Best Show Ever.

Even “The Sopranos” didn’t have that. Well, not all the time.

But syndication was really on its last legs when the “Action Pack” was conceived, and “Cleopatra” was to last but two seasons. It ended on a real cliffhanger too: Our heroic trio of under-dressed warrior girls were about to take on the evil aliens on the surface, the set-up for a huge battle which would determine the fate of human life on earth.

A few years after the show was canceled I had the pleasure to meet up with Carl Ellsworth, a former staff writer on “Cleopatra 2525.” He had written an excellent “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” episode “Halloween” before, and would eventually go on to write the films Red Eye and Disturbia. I told Mr. Ellsworth I was a big “Cleopatra” fan, and he said “Oh, so you were the one watching!”

I asked, “As a staff writer, you must have had an idea what was supposed to happen after the big cliffhanger ending. Aw, Come on, you can tell me!”

He said, “I have no idea! All the writers were let go well before they canceled it. Hey: If you find out, do me a favor and tell me!”

Well, that’s show biz for ya. There will never be closure for Cleo, Hel and Sarge, but thanks to the eclectic tastes of Hulu.com we can still enjoy their ray-gun-shooting, midriff-baring adventures online.

–Skot C.

On the other hand, the movie itself is a sign that the entertainment business is doomed. 

I’ve long held that it’s folly to remake great classic movies. Most of the time, they’re great because of a combination of elements, often intangible, like chemistry and timing. Better to remake flops that had great ideas behind them. Robert Wise’s THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL benefited from the cold war paranoia surrounding it as well as the fortunate casting of Michael Rennie, an unknown who happened to be the perfect alien. For a while there it looked like they were going to cast Spencer Tracy! And the title was almost THE DAY THE WORLD STOPPED until the producer, at the last minute, decided he could do a little better. So sheer luck played a big part in making the first version great. On the other hand, check out THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK some time. It has a lot of the same elements – giant robot, the United Nations, black and white; but it has the added virtue of being awful, so if you remake it you’re bound to do better.

SPOILERS! STOP READING, UNLESS YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO SEE THE DAMN THING.

The current DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL stars Keanu Reeves as the emotionless alien Klatuu. And while it’s the role he was born to play, it’s not exactly virgin territory for him. Hell, “emotionless alien” is his default style. The new producers make a dozen choices that suffer in comparison to the original, and the biggest mistake is dropping the Christ allegory. What the hell were they thinking? Christ has never been bigger box office than nowadays. You’ll recall that in the original Klatuu goes on the lam and chooses as his alias “Mr. Carpenter.” Then he dies, is resurrected by Gort the robot, and makes a big speech. Sorry for the spoiler here, but none of those things happen in the remake. So Klatuu is a symbol of, what, our guilty environmental conscience?

If you weren’t scared off by that spoiler, I’m going to go ahead and give away the ending.

Klatuu is an emissary of some federation of planets, and they have decided that with so few inhabitable planets available they can’t allow us to ruin ours, so he has been sent to wipe out the human race. But he’s a little on the fence because we’re so gosh darn nice to be around. It turns out Gort the robot is actually constructed of little nano-locusts, and he explodes into a cloud of technology-eating death, spreading across the land devouring trucks and stadiums (stadia, I guess) in its path. At the last minute Klatuu has mercy on the human race and shuts down the cloud, but also puts an end to all electricity. Without technology, man cannot pollute. Happy ending!

There is a huge problem with this ending, even ignoring that it doesn’t resolve any of the lead characters’ storylines, and it’s this: as I pointed out to my colleagues as we trudged out of the theatre, there are going to be a dozen countries devising workarounds to the no-electricity thing before the credits are over. It’s a showy non-solution. Klatuu shoulda killed us all off. In movies, heroes are people with jobs who are better at them than anyone else. Klatuu didn’t finish his job. And if he had, he’d be a villain. So that’s what I’d call a bad choice.

It’s not all bad. In the remake the ship lands in Central Park instead of Washington. Smarter choice, because Klatuu is basically parking so he can catch a bus to the UN, and there isn’t another patch of ground on Manhattan big enough for that giant marble. And the first half hour strikes a pretty good tone of suspense, with smart earnest dialogue that makes you wish they could have kept that up. And of course, Reeves looks good in a suit. How fortunate that the guy he steals it from has a physique like Keanu Reeves!

This is the middle of December, a couple of weeks before a big holiday weekend, and you should be wary of big ticket movies that open now instead of waiting for the prime week between Christmas and New Years. It’s a sign that the studio doesn’t have confidence in the product, that they want to keep it away from the competition. If you want to see a movie with this title, I’d pick up the DVD, Christ allegory and all. 

-daniel k.

And broadcast in hi-def.

-daniel k.

On the face of it, this a shrewd move for NBC. They get to keep all their cards, with no possibility of Leno hiking over to, say, ABC and giving Kimmel the boot. They get to move Leno’s strong demographics to prime time, where they can try to move the bottom edge of his numbers to younger, more ad-desirable, brackets (median age of the average “Tonight Show” viewer: 56). And best of all, they can stop programming scripted or even pre-taped shows in the 10 p.m. slot. NBC normally programs about 23.5 hours a week: That means about twenty percent of their programming suddenly turned into a low-cost, high-ratings-yield talk show.

If I were programming ABC or CBS, I’d be pretty damn happy to hear this as well. As far as they’re concerned, NBC has given up 10 p.m., withdrew from the field of battle. The whole strip suddenly became less competitive: A good scripted show in this slot will easily cream a talk show. Hell, if ABC follows “Lost” at 9 with cheaply annotated repeats of “Lost” at 10, they’ll take the slot every week.

This is such a radical change to the television landscape that you can rest assured that Fox’s Rupert Murdoch is planning how he is going to break the news to his affiliates that he is going to bump their news up an hour.

This change is sort of bad news for The Industry at large, though. Those five 10 p.m. slots NBC is no longer filling with scripted TV represents a lot of potential big-budget television production, gone. Even reality television, which may be a lot cheaper than true dramatic shows to produce, still employs an army of staffers, show-runners, editors, and those guys who create the all-keyboard music tracks.

Eh, maybe just as well. NBC was dumping too much reality programming into 10 p.m., and this lost strip may help wean us from this genre, which has gone as bad as egg salad on a dashboard in August. Especially on cable. Have you ever seen what passes for reality programming on MTV? “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” or “A Double Shot At Love?” (”The Hills” doesn’t count: It’s scripted. No, seriously: It is.) Let’s just say there is a reason MTV is so heavily sponsored by the armed forces: Every youth-oriented reality show on there is a passionate and convincing argument for bringing back compulsory military service.

–Skot C.

The themes of these canceled hotel-casino projects can only be speculated upon by an uninformed public. So let’s get started!

• Las Vegas, Las Vegas. Theme: Hotel casino based on a Las Vegas theme. Main Features: The decorative area that leads from the Strip to the Main door is a scaled-down miniature of Las Vegas, including a miniature Las Vegas, Las Vegas, which has an even smaller scale miniature strip in it’s miniature decorative area. Entertainment: A rotating slate of tribute shows of whoever is headlining elsewhere that week. (h/t to K. David, and “Kim Possible,” who came up with this concept independent of each other.)

• Reno, Reno. Theme: Like Las Vegas, Las Vegas, but smaller and quieter. Entertainment: Nice cars.

• New Jersey, New Jersey. Theme: An elaborately detailed tribute to HBO’s “The Sopranos.” Features: Fountain in front is a reproduction of Paterson Falls, where Rusty was thrown off of by Mikey Palmice on orders of Junior Soprano. This is re-enacted every hour, and every half-hour in summer. Reflecting pool below is full of ducks. Casino-within-a-casino: Atlantic City, Atlantic City. Entertainment: Feggedabodit! The Bada Bing, of course, only much bigger. Frank Sinatra Jr. and Frankie Valli at Adrianna’s Crazy Horse on weekends. Pine Barrens Outdoor Fun Center for the kiddies. Eats: Madon’!. Satriale’s, Arnie’s Vesuvio II, Carm’s Kitchen.

• Eco-Vegas. Theme: Environmentally responsible gaming. Features: All fixtures, slot machines, etc. recycled from other casinos. Tower is notable for not being lit, and being covered with sheets housekeeping has hung out to dry in an earth-friendly way. Guests can gamble with either money or carbon-offset credits. Entertainment: Less floorshows than earnest lectures and slideshows. Eats: Only vegetarian casino in town, with only locally-grown produce. Guests are advised to take it easy on the jimsonweed soup.

• Alaric’s Dark Ages Palace. Theme: Competitor to Caesars Palace, right across the street. Features: gamble among the toppled columns and ruined villas of Old Rome. A theme very much in alignment with current reduced expectations. Entertainment: Pagans put to the torch nightly. Aside from that, not much. Only casino in town with a monastery. Eats: Every restaurant features food you can eat with your fingers. Lots of beer.

–Skot C.

It’s changed a bit since then.

It’s too much to take in, three days of sensory overload. To wander the Strip and take in the state of the art in wallet-vacuuming technologies is an education in the raw potential of the Free Market. At least I was there in the winter, and could walk down a public street in the low sun and upper 50s. In summer the average outdoor temperature, day or night, is over 100°F and you have to retreat to the air-conditioned comfort of the casinos.

A few impressions:

• Fremont Street Experience: One of the really great attractions in Vegas. A four-block -long curved canopy of LEDs that puts on an hourly show that has to be seen to be believed. Managed to catch two shows: A Queen themed one at 9 and the following one which was set to Don McLean’s “American Pie.” I don’t know how you feel about this song (which was #1 for four weeks in 1972 and ranked the #5 song of the 20th century by the RIAA) but I can’t stand it. I was sick of it the first time I visited Las Vegas. Anyway, that show features go-go dancers cavorting all over the screen and computer-graphic hippie flowers and little news clips of JFK and Elvis and such. At one point, during one of the “heavy” verses, a tremendous video inset chugged it’s way across Fremont street, a clip of Charles Manson. I’m sure the creators of this particular show were making some sort of point, but as I stood there, surrounded by tourists, gamblers, drunk kids, and cowboys (lots and lots of cowboys: The National Rodeo was in town) all staring up at his demented visage, I realized Manson was getting what he deserved up there. He was like one of those villainous Kryptonians from Superman 2, trapped in a space-traveling acrylic paperweight, beyond relevance.

• There is a weird tone in every casino floor I walked through– And believe me, I walked through a LOT of them, from the Luxor at the south end of the Strip to the Golden Gate downtown. The collective sound of all the hundreds of slot machines make a deep minor-note drone. I was reminded of cicadas, so prevalent and omnipresent it was a dimensionless, so deep a sound it gets inside your head. It was a bit like the organ notes at the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey– You know you’re in for something big, but you’re not quite sure what. Since nothing in Vegas is actually left to chance, there is no question this tone is being created on purpose. My wife and I took to giving it an Eastern flavor as we cruised through the labyrinthine gaming areas, chanting as we walked: “Oooommmmmm… Time to gammmmble… Ommmmm… Feeeeeling luuuuucky… Ommmmmmm…”

• Silliest theme for a casino: The Bellagio. As far as I can tell, it has no theme. I seems like nothing more than massive tribute to the polyurethane-detailed faux-rustic architecture of the average McMansion.

• Silliest theme for a casino on purpose: Circus Circus. Of course.

• Most Honest Theme for a casino: Caesars Palace. The place was dreamed up in the 1960s, the era of the sword-and-sandal epic and Cleopatra. It was in the depths of the Cold War, just before Vietnam, Pax Americana at it’s fullest. The place has grown since then, but it is still an elaborate tribute to the excesses of the Roman Empire. Fluted Corinthian columns, talking, moving statues of the Pagan gods (they had those in antiquity!), a sense of the sheer majesty of power. Not much is said about the Fall of the Empire, of course, and anyone who looks like a Goth or a Vandal (bearded, barely civilized, penniless) is not-too-gently escorted to the Strip by helpful centurions.

• Must-see attraction: The Atomic Testing Museum, located well off the strip. Chronicles the history and utility of the Nevada Nuclear Test Site, less than 100 miles north. The last above-ground nuclear detonation was in 1970, and it was accidental: An underground test got out of control and shot out above the surface, a mushroom cloud visible all the way to Vegas.

• What a Las Vegas travel blog has to do with Show Biz: Everything. Las Vegas is pure show biz. more so than Hollywood. The corner of Flamingo and Las Vegas, the heart of the Strip, is dominated by the largest billboard I have ever seen, so large it covered an entire side of the Flamingo Hotel. It featured Donny and Marie Osmond.

• The Fight: Oscar de la Hoya vs. Manny Pacquiao at the MGM Grand. It was going down the last day I was there. So naturally the MGM Grand and the immediate area around it became a tremendous a**holes-only zone. Obnoxiously dressed rich people, jerks in rented Ferraris driving on sidewalks and packs of falling-down-drunk trust-fund kids were in abundance. Every religious nut and t-shirt seller and strip-club-hired, nudie-card-distributing undocumented immigrant in Vegas was also there, piled up like hamsters in a pet-shop cage. We got out as quickly as we could, running for the dubious safety of M&M World, a four-story establishment devoted to the edification of little round candies.

• Total gambling losses: $16. Take that, Vegas!

–Skot C.

Box Office Weekly #143 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: NBC solves a bunch of problems at once… even rock stars can’t get away with everything… and in this week’s commentary, the talkshow host pipeline. All this and that remake of THE PUNISHER you’ve been clamoring for, today on Box Office Weekly. 

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT (IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT)

RECESSION PROOF, HE SAID IRONICALLY

ALL IN ALL IT’S JUST ONE LESS BRICK IN THE WALL

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For thirty years, the post-local-news night time slot was as follows: you either got a movie, a failing talk show host, or Johnny Carson. Nobody watched the movie, and there was a reason that other talk show host was tanking, whether it was Joey Bishop, Dick Cavett, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase or the other 97 – none of them were Johnny Carson. So powerful was Johnny’s hold on that daypart that he only worked 4 days a week, took an aggregate of two months off a year and he STILL beat everyone else. We didn’t need to breed talk show hosts. We had one already.

But even Johnny (and maybe only Johnny) recognized that one day Johnny might want to get off that train, so he started poking around that hour after his. On NBC it contained a weird, intense man named Tom Snyder. He was kind of like Charlie Rose on coke. Commercial time for the Tomorrow Show was cheap, and it wasn’t exactly a profit center for the network. Johnny offered to produce Late Night, a talk show in the mold of the Tonight Show. For its host Johnny offered the network David Letterman, a weird neurotic midwesterner who at least was more fun than Snyder. Letterman had spent a year in showbiz exile after the failure of his daytime talk show. It was a lot like the early Late Night, it you added cooking segments and a studio audience who just didn’t get Dave at all.

Was Johnny grooming Dave to replace him? Maybe, maybe not. Moot point anyway, because when Johnny left he wasn’t producing the show any more and couldn’t pick his replacement. NBC thought Dave was too strange for the pre-midnight hour and opted for frequent guest host Jay Leno. Playing it safe worked for them, but with Johnny gone CBS perceived an opportunity and brought Letterman over to work the hour opposite Jay. Suddenly for the first time in a generation, you had competing Johnnies. Leno usually does better but they’re both doing just fine. It’s a cheap hour to produce, once you subtract host salaries. Plus, it’s been a great proving ground for Hi-Def cameras.

Both Jay and Dave have their successors in the old Late Night Slot. One of them, the weird awkward Conan O’Brien, has been slated to take over for Jay Leno for quite some time now. Weird, pixillated Craig Ferguson over at CBS has no such public assurance but I can’t imagine that Dave hasn’t dangled a few carrots, marinated in scotch, before him. Once Conan is moved up, Jimmy Fallon is promised the Late Night slot. I don’t have a lot of confidence in that kid, but one thing we’ve learned is that you can suck at the job for years at that hour, get pretty good, and then go on to your real job. In that respect it’s the best network gig in the world, relatively low pay but even less pressure.

Jimmy Kimmel on ABC has a whole other power structure. Basically anyone who has ever worked on the morning show at Los Angeles radio station KROQ is in line. I’m looking at Ralph Garman(who has hosted a faux reality show called JOE BLOW on Spike) to replace him if Kimmel moves on. If not him, then Psycho Mike. He’s hilarious. We should probably start him now, in the Three AM slot. Psycho Mike is going to need a lot of work.

-daniel k

ABC returned midseason comedy “According to Jim” to its Tuesday lineup with back-to-back episodes of the veteran series filling the 9 p.m. hour.

Although “Jim” (averaging 5.8 million viewers, 2.1 preliminary adults 18-49 rating) lost 29% of its “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” lead-in (9 million, 3.1), the Jim Belushi comedy was up sharply from last year’s premiere and returned respectable numbers in what’s been a tough night for ABC this season.

As God is my witness, I was certain that this thing had stopped producing new episodes in 2005. I’m guessing here, but I bet the cast isn’t particularly aggressive about salary raises.

I gotta start going past the top ten and find out where this thing is in the ratings.

-daniel k.

Box Office Weekly #142 (MP3 – 5 MB – 11 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and little else (I was out all weekend! Sue me) All this and the shortest commentary ever, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

 

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Box Office Weekly #141 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: The CW fails their attempt to give up… You probably wouldn’t know 1080p if you paid for it… and in this week’s commentary, money saving tips for hard times at the studios. All this and an extra helpin’ of stuffin’, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

SORRY, WERE YOU WATCHING THAT?

KING OF THE MOLEHILL

HIGH DEFINITION, LOW COMPREHENSION

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No bluebirds could be readily found, so several thousand pigeons were hand-dyed blue for the climactic scenes.

Irwin Kostal, the composer for the American half of the production, clashed with the Soviet composer, Andrei Popov. Popov wanted jazz for the score; Kostal wanted “Volga boatmen music”.

In an interview, director George Cukor recalled that during filming he received complaints from several English-speaking members of the Russian crew about star Jane Fonda. Their complaint was that instead of letting them do their jobs, she would follow them around quoting passages from Karl Marx and wanting to engage the technicians in discussions about them. They told Cukor they were already Communists, that Fonda didn’t have to convert them, and if she persisted in her behavior the whole crew would go on strike. The producers spoke to Fonda and got her to stop.

Award-winning cinematographer Jonas Gritsius was replaced by ‘Freddie Young (I)’ when it was discovered that he had never before shot a film in color and had no idea what he was doing.

According to actress Cicely Tyson, director George Cukor accused her of jinxing the film by using voodoo magic. Relations between Tyson and Cukor eventually deteriorated to the point where, when Tyson would arrive on set in the morning, she would ask–referring to Cukor–”Is he dead yet?”

There were so many production problems, foul-ups and hard feelings during the shooting of the film in Russia that eventually director George Cukor and producer Edward Lewis spoke to each other only through their lawyers.

-daniel k.

Desperate times, desperate measures. Things should be fine if the industry pays attention to this handful of simple guidelines I’m about to lay down. In turn, if they choose to reimburse me for these ideas, I’LL be fine. Otherwise, I’ll never upgrade to Blu-Ray.

REALITY MOVIES. Reality shows are the go-to idea when you’re putting together a cheap TV network – why not do the same thing on the big screen? There is an air of non-event around the form though, so maybe we can rename the genre for the big screen – call it a document or incidents. No better yet, a “documentary.” I bet we can talk the Academy into putting aside a special award for ‘em or something.

WOODY ALLEN SEMINARS. Woody Allen is the most disciplined filmmaker on the planet. For years he’s churned out tiny movies on tiny budgets, using big stars who work for peanuts because are attracted by the prestige and the challenge of working with only three pages of the whole script while getting almost no direction. The reason all Woody’s titles look the same is because he gets a discount on that font. We need to get him out from behind the camera and in front of a master class, where he can teach other directors to make dialogue-heavy, often unwatchable 93-minute movies for peanuts.

MORE 3D. This is counter-intuitive because it costs more, but let’s face it – at the moment, you can’t pirate 3D.

LESS DIGITAL, MORE LIVE – In the old days they wouldn’t hire 30 geeks to fake an explosion on a server farm – they’d just blow stuff up and film it. Was it more convincing? Sometimes. I don’t care. The important thing is that it was more fun to read special-effects magazines. Just imagine how much better the extras session on that DVD will be when you see the struggle of a dozen special effects people to put a guy in a rubber dinosaur suit and build a convincing tiny city for the dinosaur to step on. Contrast that with the interview with a programming geek who created a new tiny-city algorithm just for this movie. See? Pays for itself.

MORE REMAKES OF THE WILD, WILD WEST. Sooner or later, this idea is bound to pay off.

TEEN VAMPIRES. For the next year, every movie must write in a teen vampire character. It’s a transparent ploy, but those often work the best.

BIGGER PRODUCT PLACEMENTS – I’m not talking about soft drinks or cars. Set the next Batman movie in Isreal, for the Isreal tourist board. For the next Cate Blanchette Queen Elizabeth drama, have her discover oil under Buckingham palace and lament that the technology doesn’t yet exist to benefit from it. Think big, people!

FORCE JIM CARREY TO MAKE THREE DOPEY COMEDIES FOR 5 MILLION DOLLARS APIECE. Yeah, it’s less than he’s asking, but since they keep canceling those projects anyway, he probably needs the walkin’ around money about now.

SHOOT EVERYTHING IN MEXICO. There’s all kinds of goodness in this idea. For one, the Unions can’t reach you there. For another, lax safety standards insures that you’re going to kill off at least one major star in the process. Look at Heath Ledger! That put the Dark Knight over the top baby! Plus catering doesn’t have to send out for Mexican food.

Finally – SHORT, UGLY LEADING MEN. Sounds crazy, but it worked during the early seventies.

-daniel k

Box Office Weekly #140 (MP3 – 16 MB – 22 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories:  It’s Prince, not Prince Matchabelli… depressed about how bad TV is? Funny you should bring that up… and in this week’s commentary, a look at the lost sixties cult film PRIVILEGE. All this and a quantum of moolah, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

I WAS DREAMING WHEN I SIGNED THAT, SO SUE ME IF IT GOES ASTRAY

NETWORKS CONSIDER DROPPING ADS FOR WELBUTRIN

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOKO IS THE STICKING POINT

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I love the San Fernando Valley, don’t get me wrong; but every fall the Santa Ana winds kick up and with them, a couple of arsonists. The smoke has been so bad this weekend that today in my voice acting class, everybody got the same direction – better breath control, and don’t sound so much like Alec Baldwin. Listen to radio commercials about a month from now, and you’ll see what I mean.

What better way to pass the time then by staying indoors and watching a long-neglected cult film via Netflix? The film in this case is PRIVILEGE, Peter Watkins’ pseudo-documentary about a troubled pop star. It’s a little-known work, but people who have seen it tend to remember it. I for example, caught it once on TV over thirty years ago and haven’t been able to find it anywhere since, but I’ve wanted to. In fact, up until last year I couldn’t even have rented it if I wanted to. New Yorker Video got around to cleaning up five Peter Watkins movies and releasing them as a series.

Peter Watkins was a British television director in the late sixties who was quite ahead of his time. He made his reputation with THE WAR GAME, another faux documentary about London in the immediate aftermath of a nuclear blast. PRIVILEGE, shot in a similar fashion for theatrical release, covers some of the same territory. It takes place in 1970, which made it science-fiction in 1967. Teen idol Steven Shorter is as popular as all the Beatles rolled into one, and worshipped with a fervor that even the Beatles could only imagine. His ability to sell products based on an endorsement is so potent that there are Steven Shorter appliance stores. 

One of the entities putting that charisma to use is the “British Provisional Government”. By 1970 apparently the two party-system in England has given way to something a little more… efficient. So our popstar’s job is to channel the destructive energy of youth away from, say protest and politics. And Steven Shorter, increasingly, is realizing this and he doesn’t like it.

The style of PRIVILEGE is a lot like DON’T LOOK BACK, the long-unseen documentary about Bob Dylan. However, Watkins is said to have modeled the film on a more unlikely source: LONELY BOY, a half-hour Canadian documentary about Paul Anka. Steven Shorter IS Paul Anka, in a way. Beloved by pimply hormonal teenage girls; polite, clean-cut, good-looking enough to be an effective tabula rasa. And besides who would you rather have as the fresh face of fascism? Bob Dylan was so subversive he’d have spoiled the joke. 

The movie does overreach, but it’s noble overreaching. We see Shorter selling appliances, then next they call him in to do a commercial for apples because there is an apple glut, and then BANG! he’s called upon to simultaneously encourage christianity and blind conformity to an omnipresent government. It goes too far too quickly. Perhaps there just isn’t a slow enough pace to make that twist work, but it’d be great to see the movie remade as a mini-series. 

I hate to say it, but it would also be nice to see someone else as Steven Shorter. He’s played by Paul Jones, a non-actor who was the lead singer of Manfred Mann’s Earth Band. Jones has two notes as an actor – nervous tension and thinly veiled agony. I can’t help but think there needed to also be some sense that he loves his job so much that he can’t stop performing, even when he knows what an awful agenda he’s helping. But he does really nail the two big numbers, which are masterful satires of the excesses of pop. It’s only once he’s not singing that you start to question how the public would be devoted to such a dour guy. Part of the Beatles’ appeal was how much fun they seemed to be having at their press conferences after all. Being famous can be fun.

Whatever. PRIVILEGE is a rare gem, and flaws only serve to make gems even more fascinating. Be glad that you live in an age where you can rent it. That is, as soon as I return my copy, because I bet that’s the only one they have in stock.

-daniel k.

“The Bond movies belong to the world,” Sony domestic distribution president Rory Bruer said. “They’re popular around the world, so getting the dates right — whether domestic or elsewhere — was particularly important.”

Initially, “Solace” was to bow Nov. 7 in the U.S. and Canada, with only the U.K. and a handful of markets getting the film first. But when Warner Bros. bounced “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” from November to July, executives at Sony and MGM decided to hold back the Bond film one week domestically to open “Solace” closer to the lucrative Thanksgiving period.

Bruer said the film’s established international success should help boost must-see interest among domestic moviegoers.

“I certainly believe the buzz is out there, with regard to what it’s doing throughout the world,” he said. “The world is a much smaller place, and that resonates back to the U.S. as well.”

“Solace” has yet to unspool in several overseas markets and won’t travel to Japan until January. But its early bow in China and other piracy-prone territories has helped keep unauthorized copies of “Solace” from circulating on the Internet or elsewhere, Bruer said.

It’s unusual for movies to make the bulk of their money overseas before hitting the US, especially a bulk like that. Mother of Mercy, is this the end of the US as a global superpower? Will it mean more American Bond Villains? Can I bittorrent the movie now? So many questions, so few answers.

-daniel k.

Box Office Weekly #139 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: You are not watching MadTV… town bites superhero… and in this week’s commentary, American Film Market zen movie descriptions. All this and Blu-Ray too, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

Stories We’re Following:

SATURDAY NIGHT STILL KEEPS SATURDAY NIGHT

THEY PICKED THE WRONG YEAR TO WIN THE FORMAT WAR

A DARK NIGHT FOR THE PRACTICE OF LAW

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13TH CHILD

Cast
Christopher Atkins, Robert Guillaume, Cliff Robertson, Lesley-Anne Down, Michael Maryk
Production Status
Completed
Synopsis
Every Halloween, the LEGEND OF THE JERSEY DEVIL emerges from the darkness to bring terror to those living along the Pine Barrens Wilderness of Southern New Jersey. Homicides, linked to a creature that can shape shift from demon to human, have haunted the locals since the 1800’s. With Halloween approaching once again, will anyone be safe?

THE PLEASURE OF BEING ROBBED

Cast
Eleonore Hendricks, Josh Safdie
Synopsis
A curious and lost Eleonore looks for something everywhere, even in the bags of strangers who find themselves sadly smiling only well after she’s left their lives. They owe her their thanks.

WARWOLVES

Cast
John Saxon, Tim Thomerson, Michael Worth, Adrienne Barbeau
Synopsis
Jack Ford leads a special forces unit back to the United States to hunt down Jake Gabriel, a soldier who has been infected with the werewolf virus that turns man into wolf. Little does Jack know that three of the female soldiers serving in his unit have also been infected and have already transformed into she-wolves. The she-wolves’ forces of evil and Ford’s special op forces of good, are pitted against each other in the race to save mankind from turning into wolves.

END CALL

Cast
Tasuku Nagaoka, Yuria Haga
Production Status
Completed
Synopsis
A group of high school girls call the Devil to be granted a wish but cannot end the call until they are dead.

JACKIE A.

Cast
Grant Barker, Siri Baruc, Kevin Sorbo,
Synopsis
In this heartwarming comedic tale, a young boy learns about determination and triumph with the help of a very opinionated talking mule.

SUNDAY SCHOOL MUSICAL

Cast
Candise Lakota, Chris Chatman
Director(s)
Rachel Lee Goldenberg
Synopsis
Two competing groups of high school students must rally together and enter a song and dance competition in order to save their church from closing.

BILLY OWENS AND THE SECRET OF THE RUNES

Cast
Dalton Mugridge, Ciara O’Hanlon, Christopher Fazio, Mikayla Ottonello
Synopsis
Billy, along with his two fellow students in magic, must find a way to free their teachers soul from an enchanted amulet before he is trapped forever.

ACCURACY OF DEATH

Cast
Takeshi Kaneshiro, Manami Konishi, Sumiko Fuji
Synopsis
Chiba (Takeshi Kaneshiro) is a god of death who loves music. His job is to determine whether the human being chosen by the world of Death is ready to die or not, after examining the person’s life for 7 days in the human world. He appears in human forms and always wears white gloves. He spends time and listens to music in CD shops whenever he is free. When he works in the human world, somehow, it always rains. Thus, he has never seen the blue sky

HAROLD

Cast
Nikki Blonsky, Spencer Breslin, Cuba Gooding Jr.
Synopsis
A teenager with an early onset of male-pattern baldness befriends his high school’s janitor.

-daniel k.

ABC 13,135,000
CNN 12,304,000
NBC 12,018,000
FxNews 9,044,000
CBS 7,829,000
MSNBC 5,889,000
FOX 5,137,000
Univis 4,074,654
Telemn 790,000
BET 438,000
CNBC 391,000
BBCA 224,000
WGN 115,000
TVOne 88,000

Fox did better than I’d have thought, but considering it’s still the number one news network, it might have done better. Check out CNN! Almost beating the networks! Me, I watched the BBC online. If you were looking Ted Koppel last night, that’s where he was. I think they like his accent.

-daniel k

Box Office Weekly #138 (MP3 – 14 MB – 19 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: you’re multi-tasking, aren’t you… the man who digitized NBC is out of here… and in this week’s commentary, it’s a new day for satire. All this and I’m not wearing the green suit right now, today on Box Office Weekly. 

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: IS THERE A WAY TO DO ALL THIS AND DRIVE TOO?

NBC DIGITAL CZAR DE-REZZED

WHAT THE FOX

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Also, you know what? It was a barbecue, and I think that whatever bad reputation red meat was suffering under, it’s gone now. Burgers and hot dogs flew off the grill way faster than veggie burgers and chicken patties. I hope kraft services has been informed!

Anyway, one woman I’ve wanted to meet for a long time is Camryn Manheim, emmy-winner for THE PRACTICE. She also  did a fine turn in Todd Solondz’ HAPPINESS, a terrific movie about some terrible, terrible things. But the reason I wanted to talk to her was to confirm a suspicion of mine – we went to college together! Actually a community college, and we were both on the same stage one evening, though in different one-act plays. She asked me what I’ve been dong since then, and I told her I was getting into voice acting. “you’ve got a nice voice,” she said, and I’m counting that as my first celebrity endorsement.

The other big get of the evening was James Hong. You have seen him. He is a Chinese character actor with a rattling voice, appearing in movies as diverse as CHINATOWN, BLADE RUNNER, TANGO AND CASH… He said that after a certain point he started turning down any role that was too “chinky.” I’m guessing this is after BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA.

It occurs to me that a lot of character actors are known for a single line of dialogue, but Hong is known for two and they’re among the weirdest ever written. One is from CHINATOWN, where he is the gardener working in the koi pond and he cheerfully offers, “Bad for glass! Bad for glass!” It pays off later. The other one, which I’ll never forget, was as the robot specialist in BLADE RUNNERS, in which he apologetically says “I only do eyes!” 

I cannot report for sure that I saw either of these luminaries eating red meat.

-daniel k.

As the season has gone on though there’s been an interesting evolution on the show – the political satire has been increasingly aimed at the left. First they’d tuck a little sketch into that last half hour about Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank’s role in the bailout crisis, and then it was Barack Obama’s informercial recast as variety show. Recently the opening sketch, the one everybody watches, made fun of Joe Biden’s huge election-threatening gaffe. 

In a way, this is a kind of compliment.

I’m directing the rest of this commentary at liberals – your favorite comedy shows are going to turn on you, and you better learn to enjoy it. I’m talking SNL, I’m talking the Daily Show, I’m talking Real Time With Bill Mahr. Yes, even Hannity and Colmes.

You see, comedy gets a lot of its juice from inversion. The powerful are brought down, the underdog is elevated. ANIMAL HOUSE is a classically constructed example. The villains are the Big Men On Campus that everyone admires; the heroes are losers who drink and cheat their way through the movie. Don’t get me started on CADDYSHACK. 

But I hope you see where I’m going here, because Lorne Michaels obviously does. With Democratic majorities in the House and Senate and a Democratic president, the Democrats are as of today officially the snobs, and the Republicans are the snobs. (Note to alert readers – I’m writing this on Sunday night, but it seems pretty obvious that by Tuesday when I read this on the podcast, the only unknown here is how big the margin of victory will be. Call it arrogance; I prefer to think of it as an unwillingness to write the whole show on Tuesday.) Lorne Michaels is starting in early because he knows that he needs to crank up the liberal ridicule devices. They haven’t gotten a lot of use for the last fifteen years.

SNL will do fine. I”m A little worried about THE COLBERT REPORT. Colbert’s meta-target is Bill O’Reilly, an authority symbol who is about to be turned into a tragic figure, a little guy shaking his fist at a world which has rejected him. In short, Colbert and O’Reilly are going to switch places. Colbert’s show is such a delicate balancing act I can’t help but think that this is the event that plucks at the wires. 

The Daily Show, on the other hand, is a lot more flexible. John Stewart is clearly savvy enough, and indeed almost anxious, to have a new bunch of targets. He’s used up all the jokes about Republicans and he’s repeating himself, and I bet he can’t wait to sink his teeth into the excesses of liberalism.

You have have noticed there isn’t a lot of A-List material about Barack Obama himself. There probably won’t be for a while. For one thing there is that honeymoon period whenever a new president gets elected; but more importantly for all his exposure he is still a bit of a cypher. He hasn’t shown any foibles on the campaign trail, only that he’s smart and capable. This is not helpful to comedians. Don’t worry. After a few months in office with the pressure to get elected off, the weak spots will show. 

Now, this is directed at Republicans – cheer up. You are going to lose power for a while, but you get comedy back. Maybe now that you won’t have to depend entirely on Dennis Miller, David Zucker and the Half-Hour News Hour for your supply of yoks, you won’t be so irritable. Isn’t that change you can believe in?

-daniel k.

On average, Obama’s 30-minute primetime infomercial managed to outperform usual broadcast network programming in the time period.

The Obama special was seen by 26.3 million viewers across broadcasters CBS, NBC and Fox, according to preliminary Nielsen ratings.

I don’t know what to make of that. As the article points out, it’s such an extrordinarily wierd half-hour of programming that there’s little to compare it to. Ross Perot did a similar stunt in the nineties but I guess he just wasn’t Change We Could Believe In then.

Can one realistically compare “Knight Rider” to a political ad? That would normally seem unfair — to the politician. Obama improved NBC’s rating by 43% and CBS by 10% compared with last week. And keep in mind Obama was competing against himself.

The lowest-rated of the three presidential debates received a 52.4 million viewers — but that was carried by more networks and was, after all, a debate.

The Ross Perot specials in 1992 averaged 11.6 million viewers, but those were 15 separate specials that ran on different nights.

NBC was the most-viewed and highest-rated network for its presentation of Obama’s ad, pulling 9.8 million viewers and a 3.0 rating. CBS had 8.6 million (2.3) and Fox had 7.9 million (2.8).

As for ABC’s underdog “Pushing Daisies,” airing on the only major broadcaster not to carry the ad, the counterprogramming still came in fourth place in the adults 18-49 demo. “Daisies” (6.8 million, 2.2) was up by 16% from last week, which isn’t as big of a boost as the network had likely hoped for.

I might as well admit it here – I’m an Obama supporter. But a half-hour infomercial getting big ratings – it’s probably a sign of the apocolypse. I’m busting out the Nostradamus on this one. I’ll get back to you.

Box Office Weekly #137 (MP3 – 14 MB – 19 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Top-earning Dead Celebrities!… Donny And Marie will haunt you forever… and in this week’s commentary, politics is box office poison! All this and a story about politics, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG, LEAVE A BEAUTIFUL ESTATE

LIBERALS ATTACK MSNBC FOR BEING TOO LIBERAL

A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY, A LITTLE BIT LOUNGE

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Except.

Except in the movies. Oliver Stone’s take on the 43rd President, “W”, opened a couple of weekends ago to mediocre box office and it dropped almost 50 percent this weekend. A few weeks earlier saw the arrival of both David Zucker’s AN AMERICAN CAROL and Bill Mahr’s RELIGULOUS. One is a comedy ridiculing left wing politics and the other is a comic documentary ridiculing religion, but in this country religion and politics are often the same thing. Anyway, they both opened at the bottom of the top ten – AMERICAN CAROL made more money overall but RELIGULOUS had a higher per-screen average, and the takeaway is that nobody was awfully excited to see either one. In fact, the lions share of the ticket sales went to BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA that weekend.

You may also recall SWING VOTE, a Kevin Costner movie from the summer, though it’s just as likely that you won’t recall it at all. 

Well, something’s going on here and my guess is it has to do with the phrase “current events.” There are things that TV just does better than movies, and one of those is immediacy. If Joe Biden says something stupid at 3:00pm on Thursday, you don’t want to wait a year to see the comment about it. You want it NOW mister! I kinda liked W but I have to admit that as a political junkie, it all seemed pretty worked over to me. There was nothing in there that I hadn’t heard years ago, except the suggestion that Bush is a more sympathetic character than he seems. 

Movies just can’t maneuver with the agility that politics requires. TV is like a speedboat; movies is like a battleship. It is huge and majestic, but it takes a whole day to change course. In that time, the speedboat can zig zag circles around it 400 times. 

There are exceptions of course. MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON, which focused on the struggle of one man against the backdrop of politics, is a mighty good movie. Even then, classic though it is, I don’t believe it made a lot of money. THE CANDIDATE, which starred Robert Redford at the peak of his career, wasn’t huge. ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN is probably better looked at as a crime thriller than a political movie. 

So if you’re investing in movies…. hah hah, just kidding. Never mind. But if you had money to invest, and you were considering putting it into movies, keep away from the ones about politics. They’ll just break your heart.

-daniel k.

For his next directing effort, Steven Soderbergh is plotting a 3-D live-action rock ‘n’ roll musical about Cleopatra.

He is courting Catherine Zeta-Jones to play the Egyptian queen and Hugh Jackman to play her lover, Marc Antony.

The $30 million “Cleo” will be shopped for financing and distribution within the next two weeks. Greg Jacobs is producing with Casey Silver.

The music has been written by the indie rock band Guided by Voices, and the script is by James Greer, a former bass player for the band and an author.

While Soderbergh has recently done a spate of wildly different projects, this one will be his first full-blown musical.

I’m lining up starting this weekend – who’s with me?

-daniel k.

Box Office Weekly #136 (MP3 – 16 MB – 22 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Yahoo doesn’t have anything to yell its own name about… Universal gets its hooks back into Spielberg … and in this week’s commentary, a hyper-irrelevant look at roller-disco classic Xanadu! All this and Andrew Lloyd Webber tries to inhabit the same space as the Eurovision Song Contest, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: JUST KEEP SEARCHING, THE MONEY IS THERE SOMEWHERE

TRY TO ACT SURPRISED

SHOULDN’T IT BE “EUROHEARING?”

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The digital revolution has had unexpected consequences, and the one that is surely most unexpected is this: you will never have to wait more than 30 seconds to enjoy XANADU. As it happens, the movie was already in my Netflix queue; but I wouldn’t have had to wait to get it mailed to me because Netflix also offers it in instant streaming form. Unless you happen to be running the Mac OS, which I am. But Hulu is viewable on my trusty iMac, for free, with short commercial breaks. I need never go XANADU-less again.

The goal of most sensible movie fans, of course, is to go Xanadu-less for the rest of their lives. It is said that the Razzie Awards was inspired by a double feature of CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC and XANADU. Released in 1980, starring the oddball team of Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly, XANADU was an attempt to bring back movie musicals by giving the genre what it had always needed – roller disco and ELO. This was, as it turns out, a miscalculation.

I spotted two interesting names in the opening credits. Among the five producers was Joel Silver, who salvaged his career with action movies such as DIE HARD, PREDATOR, SPEED and THE MATRIX. And XANADU was directed by Robert Greenwald, who because famous for the left-wing documentaries OUTFOXED and WALMART. If he winds up making the world a better place, he’ll still have a lot to answer for.

Allow me to ruin the story for you now. A starving artist (Michael Beck, though the part was written for Andy Gibb) has a run-in with a mysterious woman while he’s walking to his job, where he paints enormous reproductions of album covers to hang outside record stores. This woman (Olivia Netwon John) roller skates into him, then kisses him and skates away. Later when he gets his next assignment he sees the same woman on the cover of the album. He sets out to track her down.

While searching the Santa Monica beachfront the artist meets Danny McGuire, a well-dressed old dude playing saxophone on a rock. They become friends. He soon learns that Danny is a former clarinetist of Tommy Dorsey, now retired from the construction business.

The artist (he’s named Sonny Malone, did I mention that) spots the mysterious woman again, and manages to take her out for a date. They fall in love. Danny meets her and she seems very familiar to him, resembling the singer in his big band all those years ago.

Oh hell, I’m going to skip ahead. Danny’s dream is to build a nightclub like the old days, the woman suggests that Sonny should help him because it will somehow achieve Sonny’s artistic goals, and the woman spills the beans that she’s not really a woman, she’s a muse, one of the nine ancient greek muses. On the eve of the big nightclub opening she is called back to Olympus (here represented by a floor of forced-perspective neon red tubing against black, for some reason) and Sonny is bummed out, but he loves her, manages to break into Olympus and talk the gods into letting Olivia free. She returns just in time to sing a few tunes at the opening and live happily ever after with Sonny.

One of the biggest problems with this movie is the screenplay. You’d think it doesn’t matter in a musical but the screenplay always matters, and they went into production with this one about two-thirds finished. I’d like to think that’s why it’s somehow the painter’s dream to open a roller disco nightclub – there may have been some scenes in the back of someone’s mind that would have made sense of that, but they’re nowhere to be seen. Most of the songs are by performed offscreen by ELO, except a few that aren’t because Olivia Newton-John wanted to sing material written by her husband John Farrar. And there is a number which features a rock band which would have been a perfect spot to get ELO on the screen, but the song is written by Farrar and the band is The Tubes. It’s actually my favorite number, and my pleasure in it may have to do with the fact that it has almost no connection with the rest of the movie.

There has rarely been a musical, in fact, where the numbers are such literal show-stoppers. That is, they stop the action completely, and you resent them for making the movie longer. At the same time, you resent the story for not being compelling. Something else about that Tubes number – it’s about the clash or 1940s big band and 1980’s rock, and it’s kind of an echo of the whole project. Disco was on the way out so a lot of the extras are dressed in this punky dayglo vibe. It winds up looking like the SOUND OF MUSIC, if it were a zombie picture. Add that to the animated sequence, the Tron-like Olympus and the handful of MGM-style musical numbers and you have a mixture that’s guaranteed to annoy you most of the time. It’s clearly the work of people who were frantically trying to fill screen time way past their deadlines.

On the plus side, Gene Kelly is pretty classy considering his context, and he’s mighty good on skates for a man of his advanced years. Olivia Newton John is cute as a button. Michael Beck? Can’t remember him. Is he in this? There was a zero-charisma movie star. I’m being unkind. He’s probably quite a good actor given the right material, and I’ll keep an eye open for him in better stuff.

You should see it right now. It’s only 94 minutes and it’s free. Sure it’s bad, it’s among the worst movies ever made. But isn’t that less of a waste of time than a mediocre movie?

-daniel k.

One of these commercials was for DirectTV, the satellite service.

Savvy marketing, dontcha think? Hulu is a terrific way to avoid paying for cable. It has a lot of negatives if you compare; crappy picture quality, limited selection, and watching isn’t exactly a passive experience. But the positive is it don’t cost an extra $80 a month. And nowadays that’s pretty compelling.

- Daniel k.

Last week we noted unconfirmed sightings of an “Obama for President” billboard in the Xbox 360 racing game Burnout Paradise. Today we’re able to report that it is, in fact, an official advertisement placed by the senator’s campaign team.

The post quotes Holly Rockwood at EA Games pointing out that accepting advertising doesn’t necessarily mean they endorse one candidate or another.

Interesting use of campaign funds, I suppose. By itself, putting a virtual billboard in a situation where you’re virtually driving past it at a virtual 110 miles an hour probably isn’t effective. However, telling the press that you’ve bought time in a medium enjoyed by young folk is pretty hip, and that’s pure gold. Hey, it got my attention. Makes you think that McCain has funneled some cash toward switchboard operators: “Connecting to KLondike 5 Nine Seven Oh Six. Vote for McCain!”

By the way, “Holly Rockwood”… how cool is that name!

-daniel k.

Box Office Weekly #135 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Leave Ringo Alone!… Poor poor pitiful Sumner Redstone… and in this week’s commentary, what I’m doing right now will never make me any money! All this and get ready for another dozen “Beverly Hills” movies, today on Box Office Weekly. 

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: WON’T SOMEBODY THINK ABOUT THE BILLIONAIRES?

RUN, CAP’N JACK!

ENOUGH HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ALREADY

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I think I’ve mentioned once or twice on the show that I’m taking a voice acting class. This weekend marked the end of the beginner course, and I’m confident that I’ll be invited back to the intermediate course in November. For one thing I’m pretty good; for another it means $550 into the pocket of my voice teacher.

And he’s worth it too. I’m studying under the tutelage of Marc Cashman, a guy who’s been cranking out mighty good radio commercials for at least twenty years. I first heard of him when he did a guest segment on the internet radio show of my good friend Priscilla Leona, which I happen to have done a couple of spots for. She asked his opinion of them and he said some kind things, so with that ego boost pushing me I gave him a call and enrolled in the course. Cashman give very good guidance. He’s pithy, accurate and lets you down gently when you do something stupid. I don’t think there is anyone in the class who isn’t better than they were six weeks ago.

Still, there’s an endgame to this stuff. As much fun as it is to stand in a booth and chew up a page of copy, ultimately the goal is to quit your straight job and get Don LaFontaine’s old job. LaFontaine, you’ll recall, was the dean of movie trailers, the guy who originated the phrase “In a world where…” and famous for never having to leave his home studio unless he felt like getting out. He passed away around week two of class and the mood was a mixture of shock and a creeping realization that we were all one one step forward in the line. 

But oh, that line.

Cashman usually emails 4 or 5 pages on Thursday for us to go over before the Saturday class. Sometimes it’s Taco Bell commercials from the 80s, sometimes it’s helpful tips on how to warm up your throat. Usually he discusses them when we meet. This week, he mailed something that he never brought up. It’s a piecefrom The LA Times by Howard Leff called IF THEY MENTION VOICE-OVER WORK, IT’S ALL JUST TALK. An excerpt:

…you’ll likely discover that, on any given day in L.A., four out of every seven people are:

A. Going to a voice-over audition.

B. Going to a voice-over class.

C. About to urge someone to “do voice-overs.”

This was an interesting un-positive note in an otherwise relentlessly cheerful series of handouts. Is there really that much competition? Of course there is. One of the reasons why I have given up trying to make money as a film actor is that everyone in this town is an actor, starting with the waiters and going all the way up to the lawyers. There’s also competition everywhere else. When I had a writing agent, she advised me to shave ten years off my age so I’d have a better shot at selling scripts. Even the writers have to be hot in this town!

Still, I’d have shrugged off the handout as an attempt to clear the deadwood, to separate the confident ones from the rest, if it wasn’t for that Guy With the Mustache. 

Every week there have been a couple of people sitting in on the classes, auditing. This week there were three, including the Guy With the Mustache. He was sitting across from me, looking a little weary, a little impatient with a class full of newbies. And indeed, when he read with a couple of members (they had the character parts, he had the announcer part) the Guy With the Mustache clearly knew exactly what he was doing. His voice was deep and rich without being phony, he had perfect pronunciation, his timing was perfect. He sounded like guys I’ve heard on the radio.

After class The Guy With the Mustache complimented me as we were walking to our cars. We chatted for a few minutes and it finally dawned on me that he sounded so familiar because he was the staff announcer for a local station with the “love songs – nothing but love songs” format. He had been in the room when I seduced many dates during my time in LA. The Guy has recently been laid off from his station, a victim of the declining fortunes of radio. He made me realize that the line I’m standing in is being flooded up front by an army of seasoned professionals. And they miss their jobs.

Well, there’s always the internet, I offered brightly. 

He said, “At my peak on any given hour I had about 250,000 people listening to me. How’s the circulation on your show?” I gulped, because my other podcast gets about 60 listeners a week. This one does better, but it ain’t no 250k.

So should I be discouraged? Naw. It’s never been easy to break into the business – in fact, it’s always been impossible. If it’s more impossible than usual, whatever. Doubt is for losers. The people who wind up making it are the ones crazy enough to keep going anyway. And I’m crazy as they come, so I got a pretty good chance.

-daniel k.

Box Office Weekly #134 (MP3 – 17 MB – 24 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Boring old men try to determine a technical standard for digital media… That writer’s strike could still be on – who knew?… and in this week’s commentary, I offer a way for TV to keep making money off politics! All this and a rundown of the thirty or so movies that opened this weekend, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: FORCE MAJEURE

IT COULD BE THE STANDARD FOR AS LONG AS A YEAR

MAN, THAT IPHONE MUST BE GOOD

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First of all, I agree: It’s compelling stuff, the whole “future of American society and civilization” deal. It’s high-ratings event coverage, all right. However, I will part company with Dan’s rather Swiftian suggestion we have sponsored elections, televised contests for office. Yeah, it seems inevitable, but there are two things keeping it from becoming, er, reality: 1) I can’t see how any losing candidate in a reality-show election would NOT sue the winner AND the network AND the advertisers for conflict of interest, corruption, and collusion; 2) This show already exists: It’s called “American Idol.” Good-looking contestants are judged on appearance and nuance and, once in awhile, musical skill. We get to vote for them– Directly, in fact. No “American Idol” electoral college. This is actually better than Dan’s idea, in that the winners have no constituency and can only f*** up their own lives afterward.

Nonetheless, It’s remarkable how strongly the media is playing on the Presidential horse-race this year. Maybe it is a needed distraction from the continuing bad news from Wall Street and everywhere else they trade stocks. Maybe people are hanging onto the nuances of the race because it symbolizes the hope the next four years will be better. Maybe people are scared and are looking for a strong leader in an uncertain time.

But most likely they are mesmerized by Sarah Palin.

The most fascinating thing about her is how she and her handlers have attempted to portray her. She is a “Joe Sixpack, Main Streeter, Hockey Mom.” Just a regular middle American everyone can relate to.

Wrong. This is exactly backwards. Sarah Palin is an extraterrestrial, a space alien, fresh off her flying saucer. I can prove this.

Since her surprise entrance to national politics at the Republican National Convention, The public and the press cannot get enough of her. The first week or so after her RNC speech there were endless articles about Palin. She was everywhere: Slate even reported people had recurring Sarah Palin dreams. But most of them were trying to find out something about her, to gain a definition: What Wasilla is like, about her family, her kids, her personal habits, her hobbies. What female politician– Hell, what politician, period– has ever been under such scrutiny?

She is from a faraway, exotic place. She has a large, quirky family. She speaks with an accent nobody has heard much of in the lower 48. She processes and delivers information in ways that defy easy explanation. And she is beguilingly attractive. All interesting qualifications for, say, an MTV reality show or participating in “Extreme Makeover Home Edition.”

Sarah Palin is so UNLIKE any sort of politician seen before we’re struggling to find a collective definition for her. It made the work of the Republican Party easy: All they had to do put out those “Hockey Mom” talking points and they were grabbed onto by media and public alike. They had to grab onto something, for God’s sake.

(If you are of an inclination to disagree with my Palin/alien theory, I ask you to consider this logical construction. Aliens are fascinating. Joe Sixpacks are, by definition, not interesting– After all, Joe Sixpack is your neighbor, and if your neighbors are like mine, thank God they’re boring. Sarah Palin is fascinating. therefore…)

She’s a complete novelty. A lot of this has to do with her Alaskan heritage.

Americans are enamored by The Last Frontier. It’s full of colorful characters, strange wildlife, and forbidding wilderness. It’s the last place where people can still escape to and reinvent themselves. Which leads to my proof that Palin is an alien: Thom Beers.

Mr. Beers is a producer of reality television shows. His first breakthrough was “Monster Garage.” He went on with a few wide-ranging reality shows about unusual professions, but hit on one breakout: “Deadliest Catch,” which chronicles the harrowing process of catching crab in the Bering Sea off Alaska. It was a hit, and it continues to be the number one reality show on cable.

Beers also branched off with several other shows with similar premises: “Ice Road Truckers,” about the guys who drive semis on frozen lakes in Canada; “Axe Men,” tough lumberjacks in the Pacific Northwest, and even “Lobster Wars,” crustacean-catching in New England.

None of these really took off. Part of this is the fact “Deadliest Catch” makes good on the title: Crab fishing is extremely dangerous, and not a season goes by without a fatality. In comparison, “Ice Road” features a bunch of truckers, and you can see them anywhere. “Axe Men” makes the viewer feel too guilty about clear-cutting as entertainment. And “Lobster Wars” is just lame.

But most of the appeal of “Deadliest Catch” is the Alaskan setting: forbidding, cold, dangerous. The locals on the show are equally strange to average Americans: hardscrabble, tough, willing to risk their lives going out to sea. And out at sea, it’s as weird as a science fiction movie: ice packs, thirty-foot rogue waves, seas so cold it’ll kill in three minutes exposure. The crews risk it all to catch gigantic, hideous, otherworldly-looking crustaceans.

People can’t get enough of this show. And they can’t get enough of Sarah Palin, another native product of Alaska. We’re fascinated by both, not because they’re familiar as Main Street, but because they come from the outer edge of the world.

–Skot C.

Dear American Citizen:

In most states, today is the deadline for voter registration. Take 3 minutes and register to vote TODAY.

Please visit loungethevote.com to register, and let’s lounge the vote.

If you’ve ALREADY registered to vote, then take those 3 minutes and visit shop.richardcheese.com and buy a bunch of my Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine CDs and T-Shirts, because the economic crisis is really messing with our merchandise sales and I’m going broke and running out of credit cards and I can’t pay the recording studio bills for our 3 new albums because I already owe my musicians a lot of money and good bongo players are super expensive and tuxedo dry cleaning isn’t free and I sure got charged a lot more than I expected at that “Gentleman’s Club” and now I can’t even afford the server bandwidth to finish typing thi

He’s a good American.

-daniel k.

Have Nielsen ratings ever been so politicized?

– Barack Obama received record-breaking viewers for his Democratic National Convention speech.

– John McCain’s convention speech shocked pundits by matching Obama.

– The first Obama-McCain debate received a surprisingly non-historic viewership.

– Yet the debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden drew a blowout audience, the most watched vp debate ever.

Even I watched the VP debate, and I also watched the SNL satire of the event a few nights later. And indeed, SNL is garnering their best ratings in years, having hitched their wagon to the blazing satire-friendly star of Sarah Palin. I gotta also say, they did a wicked Barney Frank and Nancy Pelosi. SNL seems to be taking the honorable path for satirists and lobbing volleys in all directions. Welcome back Lorne. All is forgiven.

There’s no need to take sides in analyzing this trend. People just seem to really want to watch stuff about politics. They want to watch the debates and they want to see what the pundits think afterwards. They’d rather watch politics than hour-long dramatics, or even more conventional reality shows. It’s like America’s Top Model, only when the season finale happens your life will actually be affected by which model wins. Hopefully.

So great, TV has found something else to put commercials around. Unfortunately, the Presidential election has a definite cutoff date. There’s money to be made out of this thing until early November, then like the Olympics, the cash cow disappears and you’re left with a bunch of pundits who have to go back to making issues out of nothing.

Forgive me for putting this idea out there, but someone is going to and it might as well be yours truly. Elections are good for ratings, most local governments are going to be strapped for cash in the next few years… would it kill us to have a sponsored Mayoral campaign somewhere? That is, would it kill democracy? Yeah, probably. But like I say, it’s inevitable. Ideally, Endemol or some other reality show outfit would swoop in early on, drop equal seed money on two candidates somewhere in exchange for total access to the campaigns. Then they could cut the footage together into an hour a week of Survivor-like goodness.

It sounds a little distasteful, but it’s not outside the envelope of reality shows OR politics; the only new element is the combination. Look at it this way – it’s just like a documentary but with frequent commercial breaks and cheesier music. Sadly, there are only so many of these shows you can have on the air at one time and there are lots of mayoral races.

And for the CW (let’s assume it will be them first) it means an hour of TV that costs a LOT less than an episode of SMALLVILLE. As far as casting goes, they’d probably pick a race where the candidates are younger and more telegenic than usual, but you don’t need a reality show to force THAT issue. Again, it’s inevitable. Why not make a little cash off it?

Once this goes on the air, I won’t watch it. I’m already getting my political entertainment off the blogs. But you might. And when you do, someone is waiting in the wings to sell you soap, cars and pharmacology. And remember, whatever they spend on advertising is a dollar less they’re giving to lobbyists.

-daniel k.

The original version was a British show, and it was very, very good. I’ve written on this show before, when the second season was set to begin on BBC America. Since then, I’ve been fortunate to have access to videos of the BBC broadcast versions of both series AND the spin-off, “Ashes to Ashes.”

I’m not complaining about how BBC America operates, but there is a quantitative difference between the UK and US versions. The British Broadcasting Corporation is a “quasi-autonomous public corporation” which raises revenues through licensing fees. No commercials. So original hour-long episodes of “Life on Mars” run for 58 minutes. BBC America shows ads, and to make room for them they have to edit down the episodes to about 42 minutes. Comparing the American versions to the British originals the cut-down method becomes apparent: They remove any nudity and carve out or minimize the “B” stories. This gives the cut shows a peculiar, staccato rhythm, and as they they stick close to the “A” stories they seem fast-paced and focused.

Making the American version apparently hasn’t been easy. The first U.S. version was driven by David E. Kelly: A pilot was shot, set in Los Angeles, and it featured Jason O’Mara as Sam Tyler and Colm Meaney (”Star Trek: Deep Space 9″) as Gene Hunt. Then the strike hit, and the network decided they didn’t like it. It was completely retooled: The show was moved to New York, and they upped the ante by getting three heavy-hitters in the cast: Gretchen Mol (The Notorious Bettie Page), Michael Imperioli (“The Sopranos”), and Harvey Keitel (Mean Streets) as Gene Hunt. Jason O’Mara still plays Sam Tyler.

Even now, less than a week to premiere, the show has been remarkably well hidden from the public. I have looked hard online for extended scenes and such and all I have found are several rapid-fire previews. This may actually be a bad sign (no extensive previews might mean it sucks in the details) or it might be a sign of how cautious the network is being.

If it’s two-thirds as good as the original series it’ll be better than almost anything on American television.

–Skot C.

Box Office Weekly #133 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Hey kids, there’s a free Iron Man inside selected Dell Boxes… Next weekend sees the opening of seven movies, you might not see any of them… and in this week’s commentary, Skot returns with astute economic observations! All this and Christian Firefighters surprise you, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: DELL SAVES YOU THE TROUBLE OF PIRATING IRON MAN

MCCARTNEY SLAPS HIS BITCH UP

ALAS, NO TIVO FOR MOVIES

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Here’s a show-biz way to look at it: The accumulated wealth completely destroyed in one day by jittery brokers was over twice as much as the accumulated box office of the top 100 films of all time – everything between Titanic (#1, US$1.83 billion) and Madagascar (#100, US$407 million). I calculated the top 100 cumulatively made US$530 billion– A drop in the bucket, apparently.

Another fun-fact take on today’s calamity: It was enough money to make Spiderman 3, the largest-budget movie of all time, 4,170 times. But nobody wants to do that (one Spiderman 3 is way more than enough). So: If we assume the studio insists the next Spidey movies hold at the US$258 million budget mark, they could have used today’s losses to release one all-new, screechy, inconsequential, effects-laden Spiderman sequel every weekend from now until January 2089.

All good fun, but It’s a bit of a stretch to post an article about divertissiment such as movies, television and music when global markets are imploding. I know people who have already lost substantial amounts of retirement money– and the way Washington is failing to offer meaningful help and leadership, they could lose a lot more. It is historically awful stuff, and it’s gonna hit us all.

And it will affect the movie industry. It already is. The credit market is tightening up, and that is going to make movies look like a riskier investment. This makes dealmaking all that more difficult. And dealmaking is the definition of Hollywood: Agents, Producers, Managers, D-people, an army of people in splendid offices spendng all day on the phone getting people to pay for things.

If the film industry is going to try to play it safe, they’ll go two ways: big and small. Big studios proved very well that tentpoles (big movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man) are still a solid investment, so long as the money is well-spent. Cutting out under-performing over-the-title talent is an obvious way to save money, so I think the upcoming movies will look a lot like the upcoming Watchmen: big effects, big budget, no stars. Watch for the stars of today to be increasingly doing their stuff in digital and small-budget Oscar-bait movies.

Of course there are other opinions– In fact, Peter Bart is positively bullish on Tinsel town.

If we are sliding into a recession– and at this point, it’s not really a question of “if” anymore– the most intriguing question is how it’s going to culturally affect things. For instance, CW has an armful of shows about spoiled rich kids: “Priviliged,” “Gossip Girl,” and the relaunched “90210.” In the coming weeks and months of economic recession are we going to find the sexy antics of the leisure class as just fun, upper-crust diversions, the 21st Century version of 1930s Nick and Nora movies and white telephone films? Or are we going to find them infuriating, elitist, and disconnected from reality?

–Skot C.

1. This movie is a lot like Michael Bay’s THE ISLAND, in that it rips of ideas from a half dozen movies that I love, adds explosions, and mushes it all together into a movie that I hate.
2. There is a certain kind of plot that kind of obligates you to be tongue-in-cheek. The audience is going to be laughing no matter what you do, so if you don’t bring the funny yourself, they’ll bring it instead. EAGLE EYE doesn’t bring the funny.
3. From now on, I’m going over the stories of all Shia LeBeouf movies with a fine-tooth comb to tease out the Hitchcock ripoffs. I could name the one here but it would be a spoiler. Then again, the movie kind of spoils itself. If I said any more, you’d Know Too Much.
4. Structurally, the movie passes plausible pretty early on. Which is merciful because when it arrives at insane about midway through, the shock isn’t as great.
5. It sucks.

-daniel k

 

What’s with Metallica and digital music? First they drag Napster to the ground and kick the hell out of it, and now their fans are complaining that iPods make their music TOO LOUD.

“Death Magnetic” is a flashpoint in a long-running music-industry fight. Over the years, rock and pop artists have increasingly sought to make their recordings sound louder to stand out on the radio, jukeboxes and, especially, iPods… Some fans are complaining that “Death Magnetic” has a thin, brittle sound that’s the result of the band’s attempts in the studio to make it as loud as possible. “Sonically it is barely listenable,” reads one fan’s online critique. Thousands have signed an online petition urging the band to re-mix the album and release it again.

Sure it’s barely listenable sonically, but what about all the other ways?

Well, like all trends this one is a pendulum – it looks like the “make everything loud” trend is about to swing back. I’m sure Lars and the boys have another great unplugged album in ‘em.

-daniel k

I was shocked and saddened to hear this, even though I knew he announced a few months ago he was too ill to continue acting and retreated in seclusion to his Connecticut home. He was a sensational talent, an irresistible screen presence, a blue-eyed delight. He was one of my favorite actors, and starred on some of my all-time favorite films: Cool Hand Luke, Slap Shot, The Hudsucker Proxy, and Road to Perdition. He’s been in many, many others films I’ve liked, but those four are part of a set of movies that are just special, awe-inspiring, and even deeply personal to me. These are films I’ve seen so many times I can’t count: I own them on DVD, and I’ll pop them into the player every once and while for inspiration.

Newman seemed ubiquitous throughout his career, but in fact he wasn’t: According the the IMDb, Paul Newman had an acting career that stretched back fifty-five years, and he appeared in sixty-four films (he had seventeen additional appearances on anthology or live drama television shows). This is one and one-sixth movie per year. If you figure a time commitment of four months per movie, he kept a darn casual work schedule. Plenty of time for car racing, inventing salad dressings, and an impressive body of charitable work.

Part of this was probably being choosy about his roles. every marquee-level actor has the misfortune or poor judgement to wind up fronting the occasional turkey, but Paul Newman managed to keep his bad film quotient very low. He probably has the highest number of quality performances in excellent films by percentage than anyone of his caliber. In fact, he considered his very first starring role his worst: The Silver Chalice (d. Victor Saville, 1954).

The Paul Newman films I’d call ill-considered on his part were really just curiosities, rather than examples of out-and-out bad cinema. And at least the ones I’ve seen there is a solid reason he consented to star in them. Paul Newman was not an “anything for a paycheck” actor: in fact I think these films were a reflection of his loyalty to his movie-industry associates.

When Time Ran Out (d. James Goldstone, 1980) was an overblown, silly bit of bombast, the door slamming closed on the disaster-film craze of the 1970s. It was produced by disaster-movie maven Irwin Allen, and by all accounts he had everything to do with that dumptruck full of money they backed up into Newman’s driveway for appearing in The Towering Inferno. Newman knows how to repay a favor, apparently.

He also co-starred with Lee Marvin in a nearly forgotten low-budget movie called Pocket Money (1972), an intensely boring little movie about shady cattle dealings in Mexico. A strange, Western-feeling film with an improbable jazz soundtrack and a theme song done by Carole King. Paul Newman probably consented to do this movie for the director: Stuart Rosenberg, the director of Cool Hand Luke. It also featured a few of his co-stars from that earlier classic: Wayne (”M*A*S*H”) Rogers and Strother Martin.

There is an interesting relationship between Paul Newman and Strother Martin (1919-1980). One of the finest character actors of his time, he worked with John Ford and Sam Peckinpah on big-budget Westerns, as well as starring in wonderful schlock like Ssssssss (1973) and The Brotherhood of Satan (1971), he appeared four times with Paul Newman (Cool Hand Luke, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Pocket Money, and Slap Shot). In fact, you can define Strother Martin as a character actor by his on-screen relationship with Newman: “What we have here… is failure to communicate.” Strother Martin’s acting career started roughly the same time as Paul Newman’s, but he appeared in twice as many films and TV shows. I guess character actors have to work harder.

You could define Strother Martin without Paul Newman, but he would seem less compelling. The same goes for Paul Newman and Hollywood: His presence and influence made the movie industry a much better place. The same goes for all of us: Everyone who appreciated and enjoyed Newman were made a little better for having known and loved his work.

–Skot C.

Sorry for going two solid months without a single post. Without going into too much detail, I just got too busy taking care of other things. Something had to give way, and that turned out to be the blogging habit.

And that is a shame, because I really enjoy doing this. But as I like to explain to people, my life is divided into five neat little sections: sleep, work, family, music, and writing. Not in that order: sleep always goes last. In fact, it’s 2 a.m. right now. Anyway, things got all unbalanced and I had to crank the writing section down. I was writing, but it was exclusively screenplay-related stuff.

So, though I already said I was sorry, I’ll try make up for it by telling you a funny little story. A story about crummy writing, A story about a crummy writing in a crummy movie.

Several years ago, my wife and Mysti– a friend of ours and a talented writer– were having a movie marathon at the house. I wasn’t there when they went to Blockbuster and I did not get to pick some of the DVDs, so one of the movies they grabbed was Return To Me (d. Bonnie Hunt, 2000).

Yeah, that Bonnie Hunt. It was the first theatrical film she directed– and her last. Here’s the summary, by Stephen Hughes via the IMDb:

Bob Rueland (David Duchovny), a Chicago building contractor, cherishes life with his veterinarian wife (Joely Richardson) until she is tragically killed in an automobile accident. Meanwhile the family and friends of Grace Briggs (Minnie Driver), a waitress at a local Italian restaurant, are overjoyed when they learn that Grace will finally get a replacement heart (the heart of Bob’s wife). Both Bob and Grace struggle to maintain normal lives after these traumatic events, until fate intervenes and brings them together.

(an aside: The phrase “tragically killed in an automobile accident” is seen quite commonly, but doesn’t it strike you as a strange qualification? “Joe Smith was hilariously killed in an automobile accident, after losing control of his car while furiously pleasuring himself listening to Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed A Girl.’”)

So the girls got themselves a bona-fide chick flick to watch. I joined in for the beginning. Joely Richardson’s doomed veterinarian character specialized in primate research at the zoo. One gorilla in particular was taken by her joyous spirit and, whenever she came close to his cage, he would put his hand up to the glass. Having read the snap-case and knowing what was in store for her, I thought: “No. You are friggin’ kidding me! Are they really gonna hang a lantern on that?”

Minutes later, Joely is “tragically” killed, David Duchovny cries his eyes out (the weirdest part of the movie, like “X-Files” weird), and Minnie gets Joely’s heart. A year passes. Minnie,with her swell new ticker, is on an outing at the zoo with her friend’s kids. She takes them to see the gorillas…

I said, “If that gorilla touches that f***ing glass, I’m outta here!”

Mysti said, “Won’t happen. They wouldn’t–”

–as if on cue, as Minnie came close the gorilla touched the f***ing glass.

I went back downstairs.

And a new in-joke was born. To this day, during the (all too common) horribly predictable bit of a movie any of the three of us will lean over and whisper to the others, “The gorilla is gonna touch the glass!” Always good for a laugh.

-Skot C.

Box Office Weekly #132 (MP3 – 14 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Emmys post historically low numbers and still make the top ten… Warner Brothers IS Voldemort with a punjabi accent… and in this week’s commentary, I tell you what I thought of the Emmy telecast – beats YOU watching it! All this and Samuel L. Jackson moves in next door, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: TV ABOUT TV DOES EVEN WORSE THAN TV

THE INTERNET IS A BUFFAY

HARI PUTTAR AND THE HALF-VALID LAWSUIT

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Jeremy Piven, supporting actor in a comedy series: Jean Smart, supporting actress in a comedy series; Zeljko Ivanek, supporting actor in a drama series; Dianne Wiest, supporting actress in a drama series; “The Colbert Report,” writing for variety, music or comedy series; Laura Linney, lead actress in a miniseries or movie; “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” outstanding variety, music or comedy series; Tina Fey, outstanding writing in a comedy series, “30 Rock”; “Recount,” outstanding made-for-television movie; Tom Wilkinson, supporting actor in a miniseries or movie; Eileen Atkins, supporting actress in a miniseries or movie; “The Amazing Race,” reality competition program; Barry Sonnenfeld, directing for a comedy series; “John Adams,” miniseries; Don Rickles, individual performance in a variety or music program; Greg Yaitanes (”House”), directing for a drama series;Paul Giamatti, lead actor in a miniseries or movie; Alec Baldwin, lead actor in a comedy series; Glenn Close, lead actress in a drama series; Bryan Cranston, lead actor in a drama series; Tina Fey, lead actress in a comedy series; Jeff Probst, host for a reality or reality-competition program; “30 Rock,” outstanding comedy series; “Mad Men,” outstanding drama series

And the thing is, TV is as good as it’s ever been. I mean that. The ceremony put a lot of emphasis on television’s illustrious past, and it served as a reminder that this medium used to suck in ways that today’s spoiled viewers can’t even begin to comprehend. If you watched on Sunday, you may have noted a little piece that seemed to go on for 200 years, populated by the surviving members of the cast of Laugh-In, except the ones who went on to successful film careers. It was horrifying. What’s worse, it made me realize that Laugh-In was usually the same, except expert editors shaved away the uncomfortable pauses. 

And yet, Laugh-In was the funniest thing on TV for years. 

Please remember that American TV was three networks and a low-powered local independent station back then. All they had to do to hold on to viewers was not offend them, so every show was a race for the lowest common denominator. Newton Minnow called television “a vast wasteland” in the late fifties, and it just became more and more arid all the way into the cable era. 

So when you have a choice between THE OFFICE, DEXTER, PROJECT RUNWAY, THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW, FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS, and reruns of everything that I had to grow up watching, just take a moment to get on your knees and thank your maker that you aren’t forced to pick up a book.

The festivities were a little surprising. Sure the Laugh-In cast nearly ruined my memories of the sixties, but Don Rickles patched them up again. That guy never disappoints. And Josh Grobin did a medley of TV themes – I swear to God, I had no idea that he had a sense of humor. At times he threw himself into it so far I thought he was Weird Al Yankovic. Also I loved the Tina Fey/Martin Scorsese commercial.  Every time.

My only four complaints about the show, when all is said and done are these: that Laugh-In thing, the unscripted opening by all five nominated reality show hosts (there’s a leap of faith for ya!), the traffic around the auditorium… funny story. I forgot that the show was going to be on and was completely surprised by the hubbub when I drove downtown to appear on Priscilla Leona’s radio show. How dare they slow me down!

And the final complaint – I wrote this whole entry during the show, as a way to make the long long ceremony interesting. I finished before the show ended. I don’t like to watch stuff where the ending doesn’t change anything.

-daniel k.

DreamWorks has finally closed the deal with India-based Reliance to leave Paramount Pictures and create a stand-alone production company.

DreamWorks principals Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and Stacey Snider are severing ties with the Melrose studio. Though the deal, valued anywhere between $500 million and $1.2 billion, has been anticipated for some time, what had been unclear was the fate of DreamWorks’ executives, who would have been contractually obligated to remain employed by Paramount. In a surprise move, Paramount waived its right to keep DreamWorks’ execs in its fold.

I’m guessing that Sumner Redstone is willing to let that high-priced talent go, the same way he did with Tom Cruise last year.

The Variety piece assures us that this won’t hurt the planned TRANSFORMERS sequel. Like that’s good news.

-daniel k.

Box Office Weekly #131 (MP3 – 17 MB – 22 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Wall Street plummets, takes Hollywood Boulevard with it… IMDB makes it even easier to see why Robert Wagner is famous… and in this week’s commentary, I see and review an opera based on David Cronenberg’s THE FLY. All this and the box office recovers a little, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING:HOPE YOU WEREN’T ATTACHED TO PRODUCTION VALUES

WHO WAS THAT GUY IN THAT MOVIE, AND LET’S WATCH THAT MOVIE

AT LAST THEY PLAY MY REQUEST

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This is why I’m not all that disappointed in the Los Angeles Opera’s presentation of THE FLY, which I saw last night at the fantastical Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. Based on the 1986 movie by David Cronenberg, directed by Cronenberg himself, with a score by Howard Shore who wrote the original movie score and a libretto by David Henry Hwang, who wrote M. Butterfly, which Cronenberg made into a film. These are people who know much about film, but only Hwang appears to have any opera background. And as you might expect, it just doesn’t work.

I myself have little opera background; I don’t like the emotional stylization, the hugeness, the very sound of operatic voices. However, I have to assume that most of the people who were in the auditorium with me DO like opera, and far as I can see they didn’t much like THE FLY. 

Here’s a little background. You may recall that the Cronenberg version of THE FLY was a deeper, stranger, more romantic and frank retelling of the late fifties movie starring David Hedison and Vincent Price. The story of a scientist who has developed a system to transmit matter from one pod to another, and makes the fatal error of sending himself through without noticing that a fly has gotten in with him at the same time was a little silly in the fifties. You had a man with a fly head and one fly arm stumbling around, and a little fly with the head of a man. 

Cronenberg upped the ante – in his version, the teleportation results in no visible outward change at first. The scientist looks exactly the same, only he’s stronger, He has less need for sleep, more stamina. In fact, he’s just like a guy in the early stages of cocaine addiction. And just like with cocaine, soon the high starts to wear off and the bad changes begin. Only in this case it’s the fly DNA starting to take control of the scientist’s body, causing gradual deformation, illness and madness. 

It’s also your basic scientist meets girl, scientist scares girl away, scientist kidnaps girl and tries to genetically fuse with her story. And actually pretty romantic in surprising ways.

The story makes it to the opera stage relatively unscathed. The action is centered around scientist Seth Brundle’s lab, with occasional forays out to a pool hall or a party for physics geeks.  The libretto by Hwang makes the most of this adaptation. Yes it’s often a little stilted (if I remember correctly the first words sung in the show are “I am a Cop – I’ve been on the force fifteen years and I’ve never seen anything like this”) but there are flashes of humor and liberal quoting of memorable lines from the movie. 

What pulls the wings off this FLY is, I think, the music. Howard Shore seems to have undergone a transformation himself in 20 years, from lush classicist to modern atonal minimalist. He’s developed an allergy to melody. He’s like Stravinsky without the populist leanings. So the music is hard to listen to, it abhors climaxes, it eschews emotional involvement. It’s off-putting. My belief is that either Shore wants to do this kind of music nowadays and thought THE FLY opera would be a a good vehicle to pin it to, or Cronenberg felt that the rest of the show is so easy to grasp that the music needed to be exotic and difficult.

If that’s the case, it’s a huge miscalculation. The creative team behind this opera may not realize how strange, brainy and creepy the material really is. I can see the early, romantic parts of the show being musically lush, gradually getting more atonal as Brundle becomes less human. But the score never changes. Nothing sucks you in, and as a result about 5% of the audience didn’t even come back after intermission. Which is a shame because the best special effects are there.

Man, as I write this I’m listening to the film score. It would have made a FANTASTIC opera.

Well, the cast was just fine. Daniel Okulitch, the bass who plays Seth Brundle, was a little bland but considering that he had to sing opera, simulate intercourse on stage AND look good naked, I think the casting people worked a miracle. Ruxandra Donose was certainly up to the job as Veronica Quaife, the Geena Davis role. She had a couple of arias which she pulled off with flair and passion, neither of which seemed to be requirements of the score. The chorus was a good chorus. Whoever sang the part of the computer (several voices, monotone unison) did precise work as well.

So I’ll put it this way – glad I saw it, not clamoring for the soundtrack album.

-daniel k.

I’m uniquely unqualified to be writing about this too. I know little about opera and less about modern opera. On the other hand, I saw THE FLY about 12 times. I’m a big David Cronenberg fan, who is the director of both projects, and I used to play the lush and romantic Howard Shore soundtrack to relax. Shore also composed the opera. So at least I’m in familar hands. 

When the film opened in Westwood, I was running the Egyptian theatre (the Egyptian Westwood, that is; the much more famous Egyptian theatre is in Hollywood. I ran AN Egyptian Theatre.) Opening weekend sold out, and opening night boasted an unplanned appearance by Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis, who just came to watch. I remember seeing them because in the sea of humanity milling around the lobby, they were both at least a head and a half taller.

-daniel k.

But there’s all kinds of fascinating qualifiers for these ratings, and they add up to nothing. For example, Obama’s speech wound up in the top ten for the week while McCain’s did not. It’s a weird fluke of statistics – the ABC feed made the numbers, but the speech was carried live on 11 networks. A few more viewers on CNN or Fox would have meant less on ABC. McCain’s speech was carried on 8 networks (BET, Telemundo and Network One declined on McCain but carried Obama) but still got larger overall numbers, but none in the top ten. I think he was edged out by sports on Sunday.

McCain may have also benefitted from a couple of good lead-ins – there was a football game on just before his speech. Had it run long or McCain started earlier, it probably would have hurt him but as it is, people are already in front of the TV anyway, right? Also Bill O’Reilly sported the first night of a multi-night interview with Obama, which garnered O’Reilly his second-best ratings ever. This preceeded the McCain speech, so arguably you couldn’t ask for a more appropriate prelude. On the other hand, Obama had the advantage of being first, so he had to do less battle with convention fatigue.

And interestingly, the Neilsen company picked the month of September to add about 100,000 more people to its sampling pool; so they were sampling differently between the Democratic and Republican conventions. Does this skew the numbers any? Not really. More people in the sample presumably means a more accurate sample because there is more data, but it doesn’t fundamentally alter the conclusions that Nielsen reaches.

-daniel k (crossposted with KEEPIN’ IT REAL, YO)

Box Office Weekly #130 (MP3 – 14 MB – 20 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Network TV is so bad, people will watch Party conventions… Real Player is back, but not any realer … and in this week’s commentary, Netlix sends you movies for no reason. All this and a gratuitous swipe at that High School Musical reality show, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: BEATS “HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL GET IN THE PICTURE”

SUING FOR OBVIOUSNESS

FINALLY, MOVIES ON IPODS

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Slate, the online magazine, did an informal survey of its readers to find out which was the most ordered and not watched movie among them. The concensus? HOTEL RWANDA. The much-lauded Don Cheadle movie based on a true story is in the top ten most popular rentals at Netflix, and apparently also the one most often guiltily sent back without ever seeing the inside of of a DVD player. Good news if you’re bugged by scratched DVDs – HOTEL RWANDA is probably always in mint condition!

Netflix spokesman Steve Swasey told me the company doesn’t keep track of which movies its subscribers hold onto the longest but said he wouldn’t be surprised if Hotel Rwanda was the one. He confessed he’s been sitting on a copy since September 2006.

I’m guilty of this kind of thing myself, but not lately. In the last 90 days I’ve watched everything I ordered. The one I wish I’d returned without watching was IDIOCRACY, which depressed and frightened me. Maybe I’ll feel the same about WALL-E. But God knows I’ve sent back plenty of material, from foreign classics to studio blockbusters.  In fact, here’s a list:

GHOST RIDER
ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW
DEAD MAN
THE THIRD MAN
CONTROL ROOM
FINDING NEMO

As you can see, my rejection tastes are very eclectic.  I got a documentary, a classic, a couple of huge hits, and a couple of quirky independents. And come to think of it, I started to watch DEAD MAN but fell asleep.

I can’t speak to Netflix as a business model, but it has revolutionized the renting of movies. It allows you to consider renting any number of things that you would never go near if you had to pay for them individually. If you never go near them once you’ve rented them anyway, that’s your problem.

-daniel k.

McCain’s address at the Republican National Convention on Thursday night was seen by about 38.9 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research. Obama received 38.4 million.

That means McCain’s speech is now the most-watched in convention history — 41% higher than President Bush’s acceptance speech four years ago, and 1% higher than Obama’s address last week.

The Hollywood Reporter goes on to add that McCain had a strong NFL lead-in on NBC, and that Obama’s appearance on The O’Reilly Factor the same night earned that show’s second highest ratings ever.

I have to admit, I’m twice as amazed that McCain beat Palin’s speech as I am that he beat Obama’s. And I’m grateful that poll numbers are outside the scope of this blog, because writing about politics here just makes me feel dirty.

-daniel k.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s highly anticipated speech at the Republican National Convention on Wednesday night nearly matched the record-setting numbers of Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama.

Palin pulled in 37.2 million viewers across broadcast and cable networks, according to Nielsen Media Research.

That’s 55% higher than Day 3 of the DNC, when her Democratic counterpart, Joe Biden, and President Clinton took the stage (24 million).

It’s also up a sharp 99% from the Republican convention’s third day in 2004 (18.7 million). In fact, it came close to upsetting Obama’s historic address on Thursday — the most-watched convention speech in history (38.4 million viewers).

Palin’s viewership is up 73% from Tuesday’s RNC tally, when 21.5 million tuned in to see President Bush and independent Sen. Joe Lieberman endorse nominee John McCain.

Box Office Weekly #129 (MP3 – 15 MB – 21 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: In a world without Don LaFontaine, will people see movies?… You don’t need couples counseling, you need a hard drive upgrade… and in this week’s commentary, meet the new fall season. All this and summer is clearly over at the movies, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: FIRST PAUL FREES, NOW THIS

HOPING FOR A BACKDOOR PILOT

THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO FIGHT ABOUT

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(At the end of the show I reference a musical number from THE AMERICAN ASTRONAUT - for people who are fans of the the black-and-white-sci-fi-western-musical genre, you can see the number here)

For some reason, the phrases “welcoming bosom” and “big four” reminds me of a scene from TOTAL RECALL. But wait, I’m not going to fire up the DVD player! Let’s see what the networks have in store, shall we?

First, a look at the shows that need no introduction: Knight Rider and 90210.  Knight Rider is from NBC, and the driver is named Mike Traceur instead of Michael Knight. However, the lead character, a talking car, is still named KITT. Co Produced by Doug Liman, who brought you THE BOURNE IDENTITY but also brought you JUMPERS. 90210 is a series set in the same high school as BEVERLY HILLS 90210 and all the students are still 30 years old. It will air on the CW, because there ain’t no WB any more.

Next a couple of shows that are familiar to you if you get BBC America, one of those cable networks they’re trying to lure you away from. Life On Mars is he story of a cop who finds himself trapped in the 1970s. As someone who grew up in the seventies, believe me, we were ALL trapped there. He’ll just have to wait ten years like the rest of us. Worst Week tells the story of a bride groom who has a serious run of bad luck in the week before his wedding. Hilariously they’re going to extend the week to twice as many episodes for the American version. Remember the first season of 24, and how you couldn’t believe they could do a second season? If the show takes off, I guess they’ll have the guy marry someone else next year. 

Okay, enough with the remakes! What about the original stuff? Well, there’s Crusoe, which is based on a classic novel about a guy who is trapped on a tropical island. It will include flashbacks to Crusoe’s life before his jet went d– before he was shipwrecked. Eleventh Hour is a detective show but get this: the detective uses FORENSIC SCIENCE to solve crimes! The show will be on CBS and is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, who runs the 12 hours of TV a week with the word CSI in the title.

Gary Unmarried, Kath and Kim, The Ex-List, Bad Mother’s Handbook - two shows about dating, two shows about unmarried women living with their mothers. Separate ‘em out yourself.

America’s Toughest Jobs is a reality show about people with tough jobs. Stylista is a reality show about life at a fashion magazine. By mid season when they’re both tanking, someone will realize that if you just swap contestants you’re going to have fantastic television. 

This leaves my pick for the only original idea for a show this year: My Own Worst Enemy. Christian Slater plays a mild mannered suburban dad who also is harboring a split personality. His other half is a mysterious international spy.  Don’t get me wrong – it’s a terrible, terrible idea, but it doesn’t sound like any other idea out there. Actually it does, a little.  In 1965 NBC aired THE JOHN FORSYTHE SHOW, in which Forsythe played the headmaster of an all-girls school in San Francisco. By mid-season NBC realized the ratings were bad and they changed the premise abruptly – Forsythe was an undercover government agent running an all-girls school in San Francisco. By the end of August the show was cancelled for good. Just saying.

-daniel k.

Barack Obama’s historic acceptance speech for the Democratic presidential nomination Thursday night was seen by 38.4 million viewers — 57% more than watched John Kerry four years ago — and was the most-watched convention speech ever.

Thursday night’s viewership set a new record for national convention coverage, according to Nielsen Media Research. Naturally, it’s also the largest number since the convention began, up 42% from Hillary Clinton’s speech on Day 2.

Fox is said to be opposed to the idea of making it a series.

Box Office Weekly #128 (MP3 – 17 MB – 23 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: Waiter, there’s a fly in my libretto… TinTin, Cap’n Haddock and Snowy are coming to the big – wait, I’m sorry, who? … and in this week’s commentary, the controversy surrounding Richard Cheese. All this and the race between a Bunny and Death, today on Box Office Weekly.

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BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: THE SOUND OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS SCRATCHING THEIR HEADS

NO, THE ACCENT DOESN’T MATTER

OPERA TAKES WING

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(While I have pledged to not link to any videos of the Richard Cheese fracas, I bet if you perform THIS SEARCH you might find one)

Apparently Cheese proved how completely devoid of class he is…

Todd Cochrane, who uploaded the YouTube videos of Cheese’s hand coming directly at a phonecam lens, has this to say in THE ULTIMATE CLASSLESS ACT:

During the Coverville 500 a concert …I got to witness the biggest jerk I have ever seen during a live event.

Incidentally RC weighs in himself in the comments section. Fireworks! I strongly recommend the comment sections in both these blogs, to get a flavor of the discourse here.

I live for stuff like this.

-daniel k

As I expected, he’s a thoughtful and well-spoken guy. I won’t quote the letter in full but I will give you this, because it’s important.

i think you should include the REASON why we don’t allow our show to be filmed:  we don’t own the synch rights to the songs we perform, so we do not have the right to be filmed performing them.  if someone films us doing so, we get held responsible and liable.

Don’t think this is a minor point. The music industry has sued a 12 year old girl, an eighty year old woman and a laser-printer in a campus office for downloading music illegally. Cheese has every right to protect his livelihood.

He also adds this:

i didn’t “spit a glass of water” out into the audience.  This implies that a full glass of water was sprayed, which it was not.

Quite so. It was about the same amount of liquid in a typical spit take (see the work of Danny Thomas or John Ritter for reference) which is roughly half a swallow. Point taken, sir.

He also adds that he does the camera confiscating thing at a lot of his shows, whenever someone is watching him through a device instead of just, you know, watching him. He says he’s never broken a camera or damaged a cellphone in the five years he’s been doing the act. And contrary to what I’ve read around the ‘net, he didn’t wreck any hardware the night I was there. I was pretty close, and I’d have heard the crunching.

As a side note, Cheese also pointed out that I left out the word “like” in my previous entry, as in “a voice LIKE Steve Lawrence.” I have corrected this. One other thing I left out because it simply wasn’t apropos: the guy does an eerily accurate impression of Bjork. Seriously, it’s creepy. Check him out live sometime. But for God’s sake, remember that the only round glass thing between you and him should be a highball tumbler.

-daniel k.

How indeed. Last week I talked about my adventures (or singular lack of them) in Las Vegas at the New Media Expo. The high point of the trip for me was the Coverville 500 concert, a big revue show that was held in a ballroom at Bally’s. Coverville is one of the most popular podcasts going (outside of offerings by our own Podcast Network, of course) hosted by a guy in Colorado named Brian Ibbott. Brian thought it would be cool for his 500th show to have a live concert, and he rounded up various acts he had featured on the show over the years – Natalie Gelman, Jonathan Coulton, Chance and The Choir, a comedy group called The Radio Adventures of Doctor Floyd, emcee Dan Klass of another popular podcast THE BITTEREST PILL, and to finish up the night, Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine.

Of these acts, Cheese is the only one who isn’t best known for original material. He is a swanky lounge singer with a martini glass and a leopard-skin tux, dragging songs by Incubus and Weezer and  Sir Mix-a-Lot back with him to the fifties. It’s not an original idea (he thanks Bill Murray in the liner notes of his second album, and his Nick character on SNL is a pretty clear inspiration) but Cheese has the ace up his french cuff of being a very talented lounge singer. He has a voice like Steve Lawrence or Paul Anka, and he surrounds himself with skilled musicians who pull the whole thing off musically, which just makes it more hilarious. It’s almost as funny as seeing hearing Frank Sinatra’s duet with Bono.

So taken with his act was I that I didn’t notice just how much some of the audience despised him. Seriously, there is so much bad mojo coming out of that set that I’m not even going to link to the YouTube clips, because Ibbott is begging people to take them down.

It’s these YouTube clips that seem to be at the heart of the commotion. The other acts didn’t have a problem with fan taping. Cheese was the only one who had a rider specifying that he could not be recorded. And quoting Ibbott:

… had there been physical tickets sent to attendees who purchased their tickets online, I would have been able to indicate that preference on the tickets. Since there wasn’t, we posted signs around the show, provided by Richard Cheese, which indicated, among other things, that his portion of the show couldn’t be recorded.

This kind of thing would be difficult to enforce nowadays under any circumstances, but imagine a roomful of bloggers and podcasters. Not only were they taping, about half were uploading between sets. 

So when Richard Cheese came on, he reminded the crowd that there was no recording. At that point the people taping held their cellphones up a little higher to be sure they caught him saying it. What happened next depends a lot on your perspective and how you view comedy. Cheese either petulantly snatched a guy’s phone out of his hand, walked it across the stage and threw it at another concertgoer, snarling “free cameras!” or he playfully took this guy’s phone and gamely tossed it to someone at the other end of the stage, cheerfully shouting “free cameras!” 

And he also spit a glass of water out into the audience, but that was earlier.

Thing is watching Cheese acting this way, I was reminded of something Alice Cooper said: he was asked how he reconciled his strong baptist upbringing with his stage act, and he responded, “well that’s not me up there. That’s Alice.” Richard Cheese is a character, obviously. He’s brash and insensitive, like any of those Rat Pack guys. If he’s not, there’s no funny. And for whatever unfortunate combination of elements, it went sour on him that night. 

Not with everybody. Most people stayed through the whole set and enjoyed it. A few even put away their cellphones. It seems to me that most of the negative chatter about the show is coming from people who are hearing about it second and third hand. After the set Cheese hung around and signed CDs. He remembered me, because he had aimed a bubble machine at my face. “I always pick a guy with glasses,” he said. “You’re a bastard,” I responded. And I moved on, because Richard Cheese and I, we can take a joke.

-daniel k

When I was at the New Media Expo last week, I noticed the presence of the Zune music player – they have decided that they should promote the Zune as a device you can listen to podcasts on. “Podcasts!” How did internet-specific audio content ever get a name like that? Oh yeah, about five years ago the iPod staked out that territory.

Thus it’s characteristic that Microsoft announced today that they’re going to pay Jerry Seinfeld $10 million to star in a series of commercials promoting the unpopular Vista operating system. A series of humorous commercials, promoting a computing platform… they probably came up with the idea the same day that the first Justin Long/John Hodgman spot for Apple played, and they’re just getting around to signing the contracts now.

The Wall Street Journal says Seinfeld will appear with Bill Gates in the ads. They’ve also got plans for ads with Chris Rock and Wil Ferrell. Seinfeld is a known Mac enthusiast; Ferrell appeared in one of the Mac “switch” ads a few years ago. I have no idea what OS Rock uses, though I like to think he’s a Linux guy.

COMPLETELY UNRELATED: Two years ago I was having dinner with some friends at a Denny’s on Sunset in Hollywood, and Justin Long was eating at the very next table! This was before LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, but man, I hope someone talked to that kid about image eating.

-daniel k

Box Office Weekly #127 (MP3 – 16 MB – 23 min)

In today’s show, Weekend Box Office Figures, TV Ratings and these stories: The world’s hottest dead actor still can’t sell a Terry Gilliam picture… does bubblegum cause acid flashbacks… and in this week’s commentary, I report on this year’s New Media Expo. All this and we feel the thunder, today on Box Office Weekly.

DOWNLOAD THE SHOW HERE

BOX OFFICE FIGURES (Courtesy BoxOfficeMojo.com)

TV RATINGS (Courtesy A.C. Nielsen Company)

STORIES WE’RE FOLLOWING: YOU CAN TAKE THE COLD WAR OUT OF THE SPY, BUT YOU CAN’T PUT IT BACK IN

A DEVELOPMENT EXECUTIVE HAS A MIDLIFE CRISIS…

A SLAM-DUNK THAT ONLY TERRY GILLIAM COULD RUIN

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As in previous years, I declined to attend any of the conferences, so I’m left with reporting on the scene on the convention floor. The exhibitors fell into catagories – hardware for you to produce your podcasts with (think Mackie boards and Shure microphones), software to mix your podcasts with (Sony, Ambrosia), companies which were an amalgm to the two (AudioMidi, which I learned is within walking distance of my day job); and a couple of actual podcasts. Orange County Podcasters was running some kind of continuous series of panel shows all day. Leo LaPorte of This Week In Tech also had a live video feed in which he interviewed various luminaries.

LaPorte was an interesting case by the way. There were monitors showing the video feed and the stream of viewer comments, and the 10 second latency caused by data buffering meant that you’d see something live, then you’d see it on the screen, then the comments would come. Usually they weren’t about the action anyway. There’s a girl on the staff called Colleen who has this rabid fan base.

For me the thing that made me decide to eat up vacation time for this was the Coverville 500 concert, held Friday night at Bally’s. Coverville is a music show that’s all cover versions, and the performers were people who are popular on the show, like Jonathan Coulton who has a beautiful soft-rock version of BABY GOT BACK, and Richard Cheese who does lounge-singer versions of alt-rock and hip-hop material.  Cheese has a once-a-month gig at the Hard Rock Resort.

The concert produced two remarks that I find telling about the whole podcast phenomenon. Jonathan Coulton was introducing a song about how difficult it is to be Tom Cruise, and he pointed out that is was interesting it was to be playing for an audience of famous people, “just not as famous as me. Your fame is to mine as mine is to Tom Cruise.” His point is well taken. To be a podcaster is to be an attention whore. It’s what we do. It’s what we are. And I have to tell you, every time I spotted Coulton in the Casino or at the Starbucks next to the Convention Center, I got that same little thrill you get when you see a more broadly famous person. If they’re famous to you, they’re famous. That’s how it works.

The other remark was made by Dan Klass, host of THE BITTEREST PILL and emcee for the concert. He made a point in his opening remarks to tell the crowd of cell-phone hoisting, twittering, live-blogging attendees this: “You cannot monetize this event. It’s a concert. You’re supposed to just enjoy it.” I’m pretty sure this advice was ignored by most.

-daniel k